DisHarmony
by toosweet
Summary: This story takes place more than two years after the episode "Harmony." Rated T for some adult content.
1. King For a Day and a Knight

**Warning: **This chapter contains one "Kirk-ish" scene but is _not_ M. Oh, and a bit of language.

**A/N: **Many, many thanks to DaniWilder for all of her suggestions and the Beta. _Gracias,_ JJ

**Dis-Harmony**

**Chapter One**

**King for a Day and a Knight**

"Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay to the Gate Room! Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay!" Chuck's voice echoed through the corridors of Atlantis.

The two men arrived in the Operations area at the same time. Sheppard was wearing his workout gear and still carrying his Bantos rods. McKay, well, he looked as if he'd dressed in a hurry. His pants were badly wrinkled and his shirt was buttoned crooked leading Sheppard to conclude that his friend had _not_ been working late as he'd said he would be.

"Did you get dressed in the dark again, McKay?"

"What are you talking about?" McKay looked down at himself, rolled his eyes and adjusted the buttons. "Oh. Yeah. I finished work and went to bed early."

"Alone?"

"Yes, alone! Who-" He was cut off when they arrived at Ops.

"What's going on, Chuck?"

"We have a priority message for you and Dr. McKay from M84-414. Audio only."

"Let's hear it."

Chuck tapped at his workstation. "John and Rodney, it is I, Flora, of the planet you call M84-414. My sister, the queen, has asked that I contact you on her behalf. It greatly saddens us to inform you of the death of our sister, Mardola. She perished at the beginning of this lunar cycle from a fever for which she had refused medical treatment while imprisoned.

"We know that you were fond of her and that you would want to be here for her memorial service which will be performed within the next three days. Though the circumstances are sorrowful, we look forward to seeing both of you again."

"Mardola? She's the one that Harmony put in prison because she was in league with the Genii."

Sheppard nodded. "Chuck, send our condolences and tell them that we will be honored to attend. And see if you can find out anything about their funeral practices so we don't make any major goofs."

"Yes, Colonel. Should I inform Mr. Woolsey?"

"No. We'll do that ourselves." He and McKay were already on their way and didn't hear Chuck's reply.

Chuck caught up with them as they were leaving Woolsey's office a few minutes later. "Colonel Sheppard, I spoke with someone on the royal council about their funeral etiquette and he said that you should just abide by our own traditions and customs regarding dress and behavior."

"Thanks. Dr. McKay and I will be leaving within the hour and staying at least three days."

"Yes, sir."

* * * * *

Sheppard and McKay arrived in the Gate Room, each with a garment bag and a duffle. At Sheppard's nod Chuck dialed the 'gate and the men stepped through. The settlement was a brisk walk from the 'gate but they barely noticed their surroundings this trip.

They were greeted by the sentries and escorted through the settlement and into the castle. Sheppard looked around but found no major changes in the décor since the last time they'd been here. The furnishings were medieval and more luxurious than that of the common citizens of the settlement.

Their escort bade them to sit at the long table where four place settings of the finest china glittered in the flickering candle and torchlight. A decanter of wine was surrounded by what would have been Reidel crystal wine glasses had they been on Earth.

Rodney had both hands on the table and drummed his fingers incessantly. Finally, John couldn't take it anymore. "That's enough, McKay!"

"I can't help it. I usually eat when I'm nervous but they haven't given us food though it looks like they will this time so I have to do _something_ with my hands. Aren't you nervous?"

"No. Why should I be?"

"Well, we haven't been here since we took Harmony on that pilgrimage to the Temple of Larus more than two years ago. I mean, how are we supposed to treat her now that she's the queen? Do we bow and call her 'your majesty'?"

"I don't know but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough. She's not exactly shy about getting her point across."

"True." Rodney started drumming his fingers again but stopped when John gave him a dangerous stare.

Movement at the arched entrance brought both men to their feet and a few moments later Flora entered. She stepped forward, both hands extended. "John, Rodney, thank you so much for coming. My sister had originally asked that you not be contacted but I persuaded her that you would want to observe Mardola's passing even though she had dishonored herself with her duplicity."

"We are sorry for your loss, Flora. If there's anything we can do, please don't hesitate to ask." John told the beautiful young woman. She was dressed much as they'd seen her in the past, dark brocade in Earth tones with her hair loose about her shoulders. She was still attractive even if in a less obvious way than Mardola had been. Her younger sister had been quite fond of displaying her…assets in such a way that it was nearly impossible not to be distracted by them during trade negotiations, which could have been her motivation in the first place. It certainly kept the men from Atlantis hanging on her every…word.

"There is nothing you need do except attend the ceremony. My sister and I will be speaking as well as a few others. If you wish, you may do so as well." She dropped their hands.

"Thank you. We'll think about it and let you know. On our world it's known as the eulogy, a kind of tribute to the departed. We didn't know what the dress code was so we just went with what our culture dictates. Since I'm in the military, I've brought my dress uniform."

"And you, Rodney?"

"Oh, uh, civilians usually wear dark, conservative clothing so I've brought a suit."

"Ah, that will be acceptable." She gestured to the table. "It is sad that the death of our sister comes at a time when there are other more joyous occasions to celebrate. Queen Harmony has asked that you join us for the evening meal. There is much she would like to discuss with you."

The men exchanged confused looks. "Uh, Flora, do you think it's appropriate for us to discuss business at a time like this?"

She smiled. "Not only is it appropriate, it is quite necessary, but I will allow Harmony to tell you of these things. Please, make yourselves comfortable. My sister and I will be with you shortly."

* * * * *

"So what do you think she looks like now?"

"Who?"

"The Royal _Pain_, of course. She was barely 13 when we saw her last. I'm sure she's grown up a little in the last two plus years."

John looked as if he hadn't considered that aspect and shrugged indifferently. "She's probably still ticked off at me about the whole grabbing her pendent and summoning the Beast of Larus thing but didn't want to offend a trading partner by excluding me." He looked around as if a thought had just occurred to him. "By the way, what do you think happened to that embarrassing painting she had made?"

Rodney had begun to wander around the room opening drawers, looking out windows and behind curtains. He lifted a bright burgundy drape. "Here it is." John came over and together they stared at the painting hidden there. "Huh. Looks like she's gotten over it." A sound at the entrance had them quickly dropping the curtain back into place and turning around guiltily.

Flora smiled as she extended a hand to someone out of sight and a fair long-fingered hand was placed in hers. She walked forward and brought with her one of the most beautiful females either men had ever seen. This vision in purple was equal in height to Flora and had the same dark wavy hair but there the resemblance ended. While Flora's hair barely touched her clavicle the newcomer's reached well past her waist. Where Flora was exceptionally pretty, _she_ could only be called stunning, graceful and sensuous. Her dark eyes watched them, meeting theirs without blinking, without fear, with…fire.

"Gentleman, her royal majesty, Queen Harmony."

"Uh…" was all John could say. Rodney couldn't even say that much. He just stared.

Harmony dropped Flora's hand then a big grin lit up her face as she ran forward. "Rodney!" She exclaimed, throwing herself into the physicist's arms and planting a kiss on his cheek. He stumbled backward, his arms going around her waist instinctively. He'd been this close to her before when he'd saved her from the Genii sent to assassinate her at the behest of her sister and had thought nothing of it. She had been a child then and in his arms she had felt like a slightly larger version of his niece, Madison. Now she felt and smelled like…a woman. A soft, shapely, magnificent…woman.

"H-H-Harmony?"

"Yes, Rodney. It is I." She held him tightly for a long time then pushed out of his arms and gathered John into a hug of much shorter duration.

"It is good to see both of you again."

Rodney cleared his throat and stepped back trying to rebuild his comfort zone. He also attempted to regain his sense of decorum. Not only was this…vision of womanhood the supreme leader of her people, she was also a teenage girl and he had no right thinking some of the things he was thinking about her. A sidelong glance at John and he could tell by the look on his face that they were thinking along the same lines. _Shame on _both_ of us!_

* * * * *

The kitchen staff quietly removed the remnants of their meal while John, Rodney, Flora and Harmony spoke quietly together. The teenage queen had insisted that Rodney sit to her right with John and Flora on her left.

Harmony took every opportunity to touch Rodney on the hand or arm. To John's way of thinking she did it way more than was necessary. He hadn't been paying attention to the conversation until she suddenly reached out and took him by the hand. "Please accept my sincerest condolences on the death of your father, John."

Flora added her voice. "And mine as well. Do you have other family with which to share your grief?"

"Uh, yeah. My brother, his wife and kids. It's been a while so I'm over it. Sort of."

"Good. I…wish for you to know that I have forgiven the offense you committed while escorting me on my pilgrimage to the Temple of Larus and have reinstated you as a hero to the crown." She gave his hand another small squeeze and released him.

"That is very, uh, generous of you."

She turned to the physicist. "And Rodney, tell me of your own adventures since last we spoke."

"Oh, well, uh, at one point I was trapped in an abandoned Genii mining facility with Colonel Carter and, uh, Dr. Keller. Tremors caused the room to destabilize but we managed to get out just before it fell into a deep chasm."

Harmony straightened her spine. "No doubt _you_ were the one who heroically saved the day as you did when you saved _me_ from the Genii and restored the ruins."

"Well, actually, it was Jennifer's idea." Without knowing it, his voice had taken on a softer tone filled with pride in the beautiful, intelligent doctor. Harmony noticed and her brows came together in annoyance. "We were trying to figure out a way to climb out when a tremor hit and she fell out into the chasm dangling from a rope. That's how she found the passage to the surface."

"And Jennifer is this Dr. Keller you mentioned?" He nodded. "I am…pleased that you were not injured."

Involuntarily, Rodney looked down at his hands. "Well, I was, a little, but Sam, uh, Colonel Carter, broke her leg. We were lucky to get out alive."

"I see." Harmony watched him contemplatively. She pushed back from the table and stood. A nod of her head and a young man came forward. By his dress and manner he was obviously a servant. "Gentlemen, you will now be shown to your sleeping chambers. The memorial for my departed sister will be tomorrow after the mid-day meal. Rodney, I wish to caution you that the ceremony will take several hours so you must be certain to consume enough nourishment to prevent, what did you call it?"

"Hypoglycemia?"

"Yes. That is it. I am sorry but we do not permit food to be consumed during the ceremony. Immediately following the service there will be a period of two hours of quiet contemplation for all who mourn Mardola. After which we will meet for the evening meal. We will discuss the other very important matters at that time."

"Yes, Your Majesty." The two men from Atlantis replied at the same time with a small bow. They were startled when she laughed.

"There is no need for such formality between the queen and the heroes of the crown. You may continue to call me Harmony." She inclined her head and swept out of the room.

The young man gestured and John and Rodney followed him from the room. When they arrived in their assigned chambers they found that their bags had already been placed there and their clothes had been hung up. Their dop kits had been placed in the en-suite and the beds were already turned down.

In Rodney's case, his computer equipment had been placed on an ornate desk in one corner of the room. He walked around looking at the sumptuous furnishings. There was a sitting area consisting of two armchairs and a long comfortable-looking sofa. The en-suite was through a door to the left of the bed and through an enormous walk-in combination dressing room and closet. One wall was nothing but mirrors. Not the sliding kind that hid more closet space. Just mirrors. Purple was Harmony's favorite color and it was used liberally throughout the castle but especially here.

He went back out into the bedroom area and sat on the bed. Bouncing a little he kicked off his boots then scooted back until he was completely on the bed and still could barely reach the other side. The bed was way bigger than a California King! He looked up at the canopy at least two stories above his head. Long fringed curtains hung from each bedpost. He could see that they were meant to be drawn together to completely enclose the bed and he did so now. "Oh, wow! This is the _coolest_ bed _ever!_ I am going to sleep like a _log_ tonight."

The door opened and closed. "Rodney?"

He stuck his head out and scowled at John. "Thanks for knocking."

John didn't hear him. He was too busy scoping out the room. "How come your room is bigger than mine?" The Colonel walked into the dressing room, his voice echoing. "Your bathroom's bigger, too, _and_ you have a walk-in closet. All that's in _my_ bathroom is…a bathroom."

"Well, I didn't _ask _for it if that's what you're implying."

"I'm not implying _anything_, Rodney. Don't be so sensitive. Remember, size doesn't matter…or so they keep telling us."

They talked for a while then John returned to his own room for the night.

* * * * *

After his shower, John brushed and flossed his teeth, pulled the towel from around his waist, rubbed his hair vigorously then hung the thick cloth on a large hook to dry. He stepped into his favorite black sleep pants and pulled his shirt on as he walked back into the bedroom. His room was less than half the size of Rodney's with no sitting area and a less vibrant color scheme, mostly just burgundy and gold with small touches of purple and green. The bed was huge but again not nearly the size of Rodney's. If he didn't have such a high sense of self worth he might be insulted but the room was more than triple the size of his quarters on Atlantis so he didn't give it another thought.

He roamed around the room putting out candles and torches until the only light left was the lamp on the bedside table. Reaching into his duffle he pulled out a Spiderman comic, flipped back the covers, lay down and began to read.

The webslinger was just about to begin his final dramatic fight scene with the Chameleon when he heard a faint knock at his door. He padded quickly across the floor thankful for the carpeting because the room had become chilly. Opening the door he was surprised to see a familiar face. "Flora? It's late. Is something wrong?"

"No, John. Nothing is wrong." She eased into the room, shut the door and leaned against it watching him with wide sensuous eyes framed with long thick lashes. "For as long as you and your people have been trading with us I have wished for you to stay the night but you never did…until now." She placed both delicate hands on his chest. John walked backward trying to get away from her because he knew why she was there and, though he found her attractive, make that _very _attractive, he didn't want to jeopardize the relationship between Atlantis and her people for one night of…

She gave him a hard shove and he landed on the bed. That's when he noticed that she was wearing a robe. Her hands went to the tie at her waist, parted the fabric and let it slide to the floor. Under it she was wearing a lace gown the color of bronze. It had thin straps and reached only as far as mid-thigh. She climbed up onto the bed, her knees on either side of his hips and her hands on his chest.

"I have wanted to be with you like this since the first time you and your people made contact with us through the Ring of the Ancestors." She leaned down and kissed each cheek, his jaw, his neck. Instinctively his hands went to her waist. _Oh, she feels _good!

"Flora, we shouldn't be doing this."

She looked into his eyes. "You do not find me attractive? Perhaps it was Mardola that struck your fancy more than I." Her bare backside came to rest on the tops of his thighs. _Oh, man!_ _That is _not _helping me make the right choice here!_

"No, i-it's not that. I find you _very_ attractive. It's just that…"

"You do not wish to cause a rift between my people and yours should our assignation become known to the queen and she disapproves."

"Yeah, something like that."

Her smile lit up the room. "That is, as you say, no problem. I will stay here with you tonight then return to my own chambers before the morning and no one will know." She punctuated the last few words with kisses to each corner of his mouth, the last one on his lips.

"Mmm. In that case, come here!" His arms went around her and pulled her down on top of him so they were touching shoulder to knee then rolled so she was now looking up at him with a bemused expression. He leaned down to kiss her as her arms went around his neck. One hand reached down and lightly stroked up the outside of her thigh taking the gown with it.

"Oh, _John!_"

* * * * *

Rodney rolled out of bed, went into the bathroom then across the hall to knock on John's door. It took him a long time to answer and when he did, he only opened it a crack. "What's up?"

"_You _should be by now. Aren't you the one who is usually up at the crack of dawn running with Conan?"

"Yeah, but these aren't exactly normal circumstances."

"True. Well, once you're up and they've brought breakfast, I thought we could eat together, if you want."

John nodded. "Sure. I'll be there in a bit." He slammed the door in Rodney's face.

Thirty minutes later John knocked on Rodney's door then entered without waiting for him to respond. The physicist was just pouring himself a cup of what looked like coffee but had a slightly different scent. He poured a cup for John then lifted the cover from his plate and began to eat.

The two men talked of nothing much while they ate then finally Rodney could stand it no longer. "John, would you _please_ go take a shower or a bath or…something. Maybe splash on some of that Aqua-Velva crap you're so fond of."

"Why?"

"Well, you smell like, let's see, how can I put this delicately so as not to offend your sensibilities?" Rodney tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Ah! You smell like you just had a long night of hot, sweaty, down-n-dirty, mind-blowing, wall-banging, sheet-grabbing, scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs, give-it-to-me-one-more-time-love-monkey sex."

John sniffed himself. "Really?"

"Really. I'm surprised that dogs, cats, wolves, hamsters and just about any other living creatures aren't howling at the moon all over town." Rodney poured another cup of coffee then waved dismissively at his friend. "Just go wash the…Flora off of you before Harmony finds out."

* * * * *

The men from Atlantis were dressed as they had been on the day of Carson's service, Sheppard in his dress uniform and McKay in his dark blue suit. His tie was the same color of blue as his eyes, a gift from Madison for Christmas. They stood somberly beside Harmony and Flora at the gravesite service then sat as directed while the officiator droned on and on. More than once Rodney hid a yawn behind his hand. He'd had to poke Sheppard in the ribs a couple of times when it appeared that he'd fallen asleep behind his sunglasses.

Finally, the service was over and it was time for the two hours of quiet contemplation. For John and Rodney "quiet contemplation" equaled "nap." Both men awoke refreshed, changed into their black uniforms and made their way to the dining hall they'd been in the night before. Harmony and Flora joined them shortly thereafter. The seating arrangements were as they had been, Harmony in the place of honor at the end of the table, Rodney to her immediate right with Flora and John to her left.

During the first course Flora gave John's thigh a light caress. He gently and firmly removed her hand though he kept a hold of it where it lay in her lap until the entrée was served.

The men were puzzled by the fact that neither Mardola nor the service was mentioned at all during the meal but did not bring it up for fear of making a major cultural _faux pas_. Instead, they allowed the women to direct the conversation. Eventually, the last course was consumed and the dishes removed.

Harmony nodded and all the attendants quietly disappeared leaving them alone in the great hall. She clasped her hands together in front of her and seemed to be gathering her resolve which was most unlike her. John and Rodney exchanged nervous glances across the table.

She shifted nervously. "Now we must talk of more important matters. My 16th birthday is at the end of the next lunar cycle. On that day I must introduce to my people the man who will eventually become my king and my…mate. A betrothal ceremony will be performed on that day though the actual marriage will not take place until my 21st birthday."

"Five years is a long engagement." Rodney remarked. He had a feeling he knew what was coming next and a smirk crossed his features. _John and Harmony sittin' in a tree…K-I-S-S…_

"That's great news, Harmony." John said with a big smile. "Will we get to meet your intended before we return to Atlantis?"

Harmony, a shy smile playing on her lips, blushed for the first time _ever_. "You have already met him, John." She reached out and took Rodney by the hand, entwining her fingers with his. "I have chosen Dr. Rodney McKay to be my consort and to one day rule beside me as king!" Rodney had just taken a drink of his wine and choked on it to the point that he almost missed her next pronouncement.

"And John, I would like for you to become the head of my army. Though we have not gone to war with the settlements on the neighboring continents or other planets in recorded history, it is possible that we may one day need to do so. None who are now in my service have seen combat and we would need someone skilled in the art of war to lead us into battle. This position would naturally come with knighthood and" she paused for dramatic effect, "the hand of my sister, Flora, in marriage."

She smiled taking their lack of response as acceptance. "It is appropriate that you take some time to meditate upon this new direction that your lives will be taking. I look forward to hearing your answers by the beginning of the next lunar cycle."

**TBC**


	2. Worth Fighting For

**A/N: **Many, many thanks to DaniWilder for all of her suggestions and the Beta. _Gracias,_ JJ

**Dis-Harmony**

**Chapter Two**

**Worth Fighting For**

"Unscheduled offworld activation!" The alarm blared and Chuck's voice echoed through the tower. Woolsey hurried from his office to stand near Chuck's workstation. "It's Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay."

"Let them in."

A few moments later they heard loud male voices in the Gate Room and went to peer over the rail. Rodney and Sheppard were having an argument.

"Rodney, would you please just _let it go_? I told you, I took a shower before the service as you _suggested_, another before bed last night and again this morning."

"Then why do I still _smell it_?" McKay was wrinkling his nose.

"I don't…friggin'…_know!_" The last word echoed off the walls of the Gate Room and captured the attention of everyone in the vicinity, including Woolsey.

"Is there a problem, Colonel?"

Rodney and Sheppard looked up to see the expedition commander staring down at them. "Nothing I can't handle." His words were for Woolsey but he was looking at Rodney.

"How was your trip?"

Rodney was rocking back and forth on his heels looking up at Woolsey with a smug expression. "We had a couple of really great meals at the queen's table, the funeral was long and _extremely_ boring and we slept in rooms bigger than most people's homes. Oh, and Harmony asked me to be king."

Woolsey's eyes were wide behind his wire frame glasses. "Perhaps you should come up to my office."

The two men climbed the staircase and crossed the bridge to the commander's office. Woolsey invited them to sit then looked from one to the other waiting for them to elaborate. "Well?"

Sheppard and Rodney shared a look. The Colonel rolled his eyes and looked away.

"He's just upset that my new job as _king_ is a major advancement while _his_ new position as the head of the military is a lateral transfer."

"Please, just start at the beginning, Doctor." He sniffed the air then shook his head and tried to ignore the strange scent that suddenly invaded his office.

Rodney recounted the conversation that he and Sheppard had with Harmony on the second night of their stay with a self-satisfied and haughty expression. All the while Woolsey just sat there in his chair with his arms crossed and his face impassive.

When the physicist finally trailed off, Woolsey continued to stare at a point six inches in front of his nose thinking. "You _have_ gotten yourself in a bit of a pickle, haven't you, Dr. McKay?"

"How do you figure?"

"Just for the sake of argument, let's say that you have decided to decline her offer. What would happen to the trade agreement we have with her people? Will she be so offended that she cuts off any and all contact with Atlantis or will she just pout for a few days and let it go?"

Both men just stared at Woolsey without blinking. They hadn't even considered the ramifications of declining.

Rodney looked anxious. "I-I-If they cut off all contact with us, how will we be able to protect them from the Wraith and the rogue Genii?"

"I'll contact Her Majesty myself to see what their procedures are for declining their very generous, uh, offers. What time is it there?"

Sheppard checked his watch. "It's early evening. They should be sitting down to dinner right about now."

"Yeah, Harmony and Flora are probably picking out their wedding gowns and bridesmaids dresses at this very moment."

"Rodney!!"

He raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. I'll stop…for now."

After the men left Woolsey gathered up his tablet PC and crossed the bridge one more time. He went to Chuck and said, "I'm going to work the remainder of the day in my quarters because it smells like a wet llama in my office. Would you please have someone in to clean and have it liberally sprayed with air freshener?"

"Yes, sir. Right away." As Chuck turned away to forward the request he heard him sniffing the air. He smelled it, too, and it wasn't at all pleasant but he hadn't wanted to say anything.

"Oh, and have them take care of Ops and the Gate Room, too."

**The Next Afternoon**

Sheppard approached the table on the patio where Ronon, Rodney, Lorne and Teyla were already seated. As he passed occupied tables he didn't see that the women were wrinkling their noses in disgust.

He greeted his friends and took the only empty chair, the one next to Teyla. She sniffed. "John, what _are_ you eating? It smells like…"

"A wet animal? Yeah, I know. And it's _not_ my food. It's me and I don't _know_ what it is. I've showered more than a few times but it keeps coming back. I borrowed some scented shower gel and ended up smelling like a wet animal eating a melon."

Rodney was wearing a smug expression, the same one he'd worn since he'd recovered from the shock of Harmony asking him to be her husband. "Maybe it's a symptom of the jealousy he feels because she asked _me_ to be _king_ and not _him_."

"I've already told you, I'm _not_ _jealous!_ Why would I envy you because a 16 year-old girl asked you to marry her?"

"Well, she was originally" he made finger quotes "in love with _you_ then turned her allegiance to _me_ when I saved her life."

Teyla stood abruptly, taking up her tray. "I am sorry, John. I must go. The smell is…overwhelming."

He nodded his understanding as she hurried away. The Athosian greeted several of her friends including Jennifer. The doctor had started to join Team Sheppard but the odd smell forced her to sit a few tables away though she did blatantly eavesdrop on their conversation. Rodney's back was to her so he didn't edit his remarks. Her head snapped up at his next comment.

"You know, when I become _king _of M84-414…" he always emphasized the word king, "…I'm going to have an in-depth look at their science and technology. You know, I could _singlehandedly _bring about an all-encompassing technological renaissance with my vast knowledge of everything about, well, everything. And just think what _you _could do for their military, John. In a few years they, _we_ could be a Pegasus superpower." He didn't see Jennifer jump up and run away.

"Their queen is only 16?" Ronon asked.

Sheppard rolled his eyes. "Just about. Rodney, you aren't _seriously _considering taking her up on her offer, are you?"

"Oh, don't be obtuse. Of course I'm not _actually_ considering it. She's a teenage girl, for goodness sake. But like the losers in the Oscars, it was an honor just to be asked. Why can't you just let me enjoy it for a couple of days? A-A-At least until we figure out how to gracefully decline without destroying our trade agreement with the Royal Pain and her horny sister. Speaking of which..."

"No!"

"No?"

Sheppard was way beyond frustrated. "No, for the ten _thousandth _time! I slept _alone_ the second night!"

* * * * *

Jennifer was so shocked at Rodney's words that she jumped up and pushed her way through a group of diners headed into the Mess Hall. She left her tray without finishing her meal bent on catching up with Teyla. Fortunately, her friend hadn't gotten far. They had a quick whispered conversation then together they stepped into a transport and exited in the tower.

"Chuck, where's Mr. Woolsey?"

"He and a security detail went to M84-414 to talk with the queen. He should be back…" an alarm went off and he turned to his workstation, "immediately. It's him. Shutting down the shield." The Stargate flickered and moments later Richard Woolsey and two armed Marines appeared.

Jennifer went to the railing. "Mr. Woolsey, we need to speak to you right away!" She indicated herself and Teyla.

He stopped and looked up at the two women solemnly. "That's good because I need to see the two of you as well." They waited outside his office, followed him in then sat without an invitation. He gave them a quick rundown on the situation and his discussion with Queen Harmony regarding the declining of her offers to Sheppard and Rodney.

"So the only way for them to reject the offer without grievously insulting the crown is for them to either already be married or for someone to challenge each of the women for their hands?" The women exchanged a look and a nod.

"Yes, that is why I wanted to see the two of you. Dr. Keller…"

"I accept!"

"Pardon?"

"I will challenge Harmony for Rodney's hand." The medical doctor stated for the record.

"And I would be honored to fight for the hand of John Sheppard." Teyla's gaze on his was unwavering.

The commander sighed. "You understand that I would never order you to do this."

"Yes, sir. But Rodney…and John are worth fighting for." Jennifer was resolute. She would not allow the man she loved to become the consort of a teenage queen. "So, what does this challenge entail?"

Woolsey called up the information on his tablet PC and they spent the next few minutes talking strategy.

According to Harmony and Flora, the man whom the women will be fighting over is not to know that a challenge has been issued for his hand. To abide by this edict, Rodney and John would not be told what was happening until the situation had been brought to a satisfactory conclusion.

* * * * *

"Mr. Woolsey! Mr. Woolsey! Could we have a few moments of your time?"

Richard Woolsey turned at the sound of Radek Zelenka's voice. Behind him was most of McKay's senior staff, all with arms crossed and angry, disgruntled expressions. "Of course, Doctor. What can I do for all of you?"

"It is Dr. McKay. He has become even more…unpleasant since his return from M84-414. We are continually being reminded that he has been asked to be their king. He was insufferable before but now…"

The commander sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know. I'm very sorry. Rest assured that we are working to remedy the situation as we speak. If you would please just be a little patient and try to ignore him like you usually do, it would be greatly appreciated."

"We will try, but it has become nearly intolerable! Somehow he manages to insert a reference to his possible new status into _every_ conversation. And that's the least of it."

Woolsey clasped his hands together in front of him. "If you and your staff could see your way to…persevering for at least another couple of weeks, I think I could be persuaded to, uh, provide an additional…incentive." This pronouncement achieved its purpose. He had their undivided attention.

"You have piqued our interest." Radek pushed his glasses back up his nose. "What sort of…incentive did you have in mind?"

"We can discuss that in more detail after the situation with Dr. McKay has been resolved but I promise, we _will _come to an agreement that would be beneficial to all interested parties."

Radek had a quick whispered conference with his staff then turned back to Woolsey. "Agreed. You will hear no more complaints from the science and research department."

"Thank you."

* * * * *

Jennifer looked at herself in the mirror with misgiving. Teyla's face was reflected next to hers and their eyes met. "I don't know, Teyla. Are you sure this is what I should be wearing for this challenge?"

"Yes. These items are made from a fabric my people make that is similar to, I do not remember the name. It is a material that draws moisture away from the body during physical exertions."

"Coolmax."

"Yes. It is form-fitting, comfortable and does not restrict movement."

"Okay. You're the expert. Will we be able to get in a few practice sessions before we make the formal challenge?"

Teyla walked to the bed and picked up a set of Bantos rods which she handed to Jennifer. "Of course. We will begin tonight and have workouts as often as possible before we make the challenge. It is mandatory that we make our declaration at least three days before the start of the next lunar cycle. That will give us ten days to make you the greatest female warrior that M84-414 has ever seen."

Jennifer sat on the side of the bed in defeat. "Yeah, like _that's_ going to happen. I couldn't even vanquish a Wraith that wanted to feed on me. Rodney had to _shoot_ him. Harmony will be fighting for the love of a man and that can be a greater motivator than hunger." She sighed in resignation.

Teyla put a hand on her shoulder. "Then love is what we will use to motivate _you._"

"Excuse me?"

"You love Rodney. This fight will literally be for his heart, his love, which you already have. He just needs to see that he has yours in return."

She blushed and looked away. "Is it that obvious?"

"To me it is, but then my powers of observation are superior to most. What time shall we meet?"

"I'm on night duty all this week so how about 1900? We can have dinner afterwards and talk, uh, strategy."

"I will be there…with bells on." Jennifer laughed and hugged the Athosian.

* * * * *

Ten days later, exactly three days before the beginning of the next local lunar cycle, Jennifer, Teyla, Woolsey, Lorne and his team made their way to the gates of the castle. The sentries were not inclined to allow them entrance until Woolsey declared that they would remain in the settlement until they were allowed to speak with the queen.

Flora saw the commotion, spoke briefly with Harmony and the Atlanteans were granted an audience. Harmony, her back rigid and tense, seated herself on the throne with Flora at her side.

"Please state your business, Mr. Woolsey. There are still many preparations to be made for Harmony's birthday celebration as well as the betrothal ceremonies that will take place immediately afterward." Flora stated. Both women knew what was going on but protocol had to be observed.

Woolsey made a small bow. "Your Majesty, I present to you Jennifer Keller and Teyla Emmagan." They also made a bow. Each was dressed in their uniforms and carried a duffle which they sat at their feet. "They wish to speak to you and your sister."

Jennifer stepped forward with a confidence she didn't feel and looked Harmony in the eye. In keeping with the traditions of the settlement, she stated formally, "I am Jennifer Keller, daughter of Grace and Jacob. I…challenge you, Queen Harmony, for the hand of Rodney McKay."

Teyla came to stand next to the medical doctor, piercing Flora with her dark gaze. "I am Teyla Emmagan, daughter of Tagaan and Torren. And Flora, sister to the queen, _I_ challenge _you_ for the hand of John Sheppard."

**TBC**


	3. Everything and Nothing

**A/N: **Many, many thanks to DaniWilder for all of her suggestions and the Beta. Thanks also to lone-ranger1 for his Beta of the fight scene.

_Gracias,_ JJ

**Dis-Harmony**

**Chapter Three**

**Everything and Nothing**

Looking into Jennifer's eyes, Harmony could see that the doctor loved Rodney beyond words. She had expected that John would have someone awaiting him on Atlantis but was surprised that Rodney did. Though she cared a great deal for him, he did not strike her as a man who would have hordes of women clamoring for his attention. Knowing Rodney as she did she was surprised that he had not mentioned Jennifer. Unless he did not know. _Perhaps she has not told Rodney of her love. _

The revelation that the man she'd chosen as her mate already had someone who loved him enough to fight for him changed everything. She no longer wished to fight but the challenge had been issued and a response was mandatory. To back down would make her look weak and she would not allow herself to look vulnerable in the eyes of her people. That meant the fight had to go on.

The sisters exchanged glances, Flora nodding imperceptibly. They stood, taking one step forward. Harmony's eyes roamed over the faces of the Atlanteans, stopping on Jennifer's.

"Jennifer, daughter of Grace and Jacob, I…accept the challenge for the hand of Rodney McKay."

Flora brought her eyes to Teyla's. Her mind burned with anger and jealousy but she was quite good at hiding her emotions. She had wanted John Sheppard since the first time he'd set foot in the castle when her mother, Queen Ardella, was still alive. Then several weeks ago her wish had come true. She'd finally gotten to make love to him and it was glorious! What he hadn't told her was that there was someone on Atlantis waiting for him. Well, there was something _she_ didn't tell him either.

Teyla looked back without the least bit of trepidation or fear and Flora nearly leapt at her then and there. Her hands flexed and clenched into fists to keep from scratching the Athosian's eyes out. Her voice betrayed none of her emotions, "Teyla, daughter of Tagaan and Torren, I accept the challenge for the hand of John Sheppard."

Jennifer watched the young woman who had become queen at the age of 13. She was confident, poised and self-assured. She was also very attractive, well, for a teenager. There was also an air of intelligence, maturity, compassion, caring and wisdom surrounding her that usually came with age. When she looked into the girl's eyes it was as if she were seeing these qualities manifested in human form. On Earth she would have been said to have an "old soul." Jennifer could see why Rodney was drawn to her, even if it was as just a friend. No matter what he'd said to Sheppard, she knew with absolute certainty that the arrogant physicist had a good heart and would never take advantage of a young girl. She sighed quietly. If she had told Rodney her feelings long ago then this wouldn't even have happened. He would have been able to decline the offer without bringing dishonor upon himself, Atlantis or the Queen, but it was too late now. There was nothing to do but go forward.

Harmony continued. "The competition will begin tomorrow three hours after the mid-day meal. In keeping with the rules the challengers will remain within the walls of the residence until the contest has reached its conclusion. You will now be shown to sleeping chambers then, later, join my sister and myself for the evening meal."

The women exchanged glances. "We would be honored, Your Majesty." Teyla answered for them.

"Mr. Woolsey, you and your men are also welcome to stay however you will be shown to a separate wing of the residence. You will take your meals with the soldiers." The young queen motioned attendants forward.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Lorne started but Jennifer interrupted.

"We will be _fine_, Major. I'm sure no harm will come to us." She picked up her duffle then she and Teyla followed an attendant from the great hall. Her emergency medkit was being carried by one of Lorne's men and would stay with him. As they would always be nearby, she accepted that fact though it made her a little uneasy.

* * * * *

Jennifer had been so nervous at supper that she'd hardly been able to force enough food down to appear polite. She must have eaten enough to satisfy Harmony and Flora as neither of them had mentioned her lack of appetite. The four women had talked about many things. They did not, however, talk about Rodney, John or the upcoming competition. By the end of the meal Jennifer had relaxed enough to laugh with the others. Or maybe it was the two glasses of wine she'd had with her meal.

She slept very well in the extremely comfortable bed in the enormous room she'd been assigned. She awoke when an attendant knocked on the door and served her breakfast in bed. The eggs looked a bit odd but were quite tasty. It was the same with the toast. The juice looked like orange and tasted like a cross between tangerine and pomegranate. She made a mental note to stop consuming citrus so she wouldn't accidentally cause an anaphylactic reaction in Rodney when they finally got together. And they would eventually. She would see to it.

Setting the tray aside, she climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom to emerge a short time later in her usual workout gear. An hour later Teyla knocked on her door. They used the large open area of Jennifer's chambers to go over a few routines and get in some light practice then changed into their uniforms for lunch. They returned to their chambers to rest before the challenge.

* * * * *

Once again Jennifer was looking at herself in the mirror. Her usual workout gear was a Coolmax tank, long pants and cross-trainers. Now she was wearing the outfit Teyla had given her: a sleeveless top that laced up the back and left her midriff bare to just below her navel, form-fitting slacks that ended just above her ankles and her black cross trainers. The material felt like leather but was as soft and as supple as satin moving as she moved without pinching or restricting, just as Teyla had told her it would. The earth tones of sienna, russet and burgundy with touches of bronze and carnelian made her look almost wild until she braided her hair and secured it with an elastic band.

Someone knocked on her door and she jumped when Teyla entered without an invitation. She was wearing a similar outfit but with shades of green and copper. Though she usually sparred barefoot, today she was also in cross trainers.

"Are you ready for this, Jennifer?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

An attendant knocked on the door and escorted them to the workout room. The only people in attendance were the four combatants, Woolsey, Lorne and his team plus several of the many attendants they'd seen walking the halls of the castle. The royal council had demanded that they be allowed to attend but were summarily denied by the queen though they loitered in the throne room awaiting the outcome of the challenge.

Flora and Harmony were already there when Teyla and Jennifer arrived. The women from Atlantis were directed to stand with them. The sisters were also dressed in clothing suitable for the events that were about to take place, Flora in burgundy and Harmony in her favorite purple.

A young man stepped forward. "I am Joran, son of General Keelan and a Captain in the royal army. It is my task to officiate this event.

"The first to engage will be Flora, sister to the queen, and Teyla Emmagan. At the conclusion, the battle between Her Majesty, Queen Harmony and Jennifer Keller will begin.

"The fighting will end when someone either is unable or unwilling to continue. If the battle ends in a draw, we will adjourn for the night and begin again in the morning. Either party may concede at any time. If the spectators interfere in any way with these proceedings, they will be escorted back to the Ring of the Ancestors and asked to leave." He gestured and the women bowed first to him then to the audience. Harmony and Jennifer moved to the far side of the room where rows of chairs were set up and they had a good view of the fight area.

**Flora and Teyla**

The arena was heavily padded and approximately six meters on a side surrounded with many different weapons in stands or on the walls. None had blades of any kind and most appeared to be similar to those used on Earth and Atlantis such as the quarterstaff and Bantos rods.

The women faced each other across the open area of the arena and bowed.

Teyla waited for Flora to make the first move as the woman circled out of reach. Finally Flora lunged forward trying to take the Athosian by surprise and the next thing she knew she was looking up at her from the mat. She rolled quickly to her feet and they began circling again.

Watching from the sidelines, Jennifer thought smugly, _she obviously never learned rule number one according to Shane Wolfe: never be too eager to rush your opponent._

Subtly, Teyla began to move closer to the other woman. When Flora's eyes flicked to the side for a split second, Teyla stepped forward and punched her in the solar plexus doubling her over. While she recovered, Teyla reached for a quarterstaff, swinging it side to side and spinning it expertly. The whooshing sound brought Flora's head up and she also reached for a staff.

Flora kept her eyes on Teyla as they circled each other warily. Finally, she stepped forward swinging right, left, right, left, spin, up, down. Teyla parried each of her swings with very little effort then went on the offensive.

_Whack!_

_Whack! Whack!_

_Whack!_

_Whack! Whack!_

_Whack! Whack! Whack!_

Out of the corner of her eye, Teyla could see the soldiers conversing with the attendants and money changing hands. She rolled her eyes and concentrated on the fight.

Flora defended herself but just barely. Teyla pressed forward relentlessly pursuing her around the floor. Up, down, left, right, circle, spin, back. Then they came at each other, their staffs connecting between them. With her superior knowledge and strength, Teyla made the decision to allow Flora a small victory to build her confidence. She pretended to stumble. With the pressure of Teyla's staff gone, Flora stumbled herself then surged upright as she backpedalled and began spinning the staff, obviously showing off.

A collective moan went through the soldiers but was silenced by a sharp look from their commander. Nash and Brackman looked sheepishly back at him with a shrug. The others just closed their mouths and resumed their seats.

Teyla now let her features show less confidence than she felt and was gratified to see Flora's eyes shine with triumph. Overconfidence was as much a hindrance as the lack of it.

Running at the Athosian, Flora swung her staff around obviously aiming to knock Teyla's feet from under her but she jumped at the last second. She swung left and right as her feet hit the mat smacking Flora on the fingers of each hand causing her drop the length of wood.

Teyla kicked the staff out of Flora's reach and began stalking her in earnest. With a taunting smile, she tossed her own staff away and prowled toward the dark-haired woman. Both women now had their hands up in the fighting ready position, watching each other warily.

Flora stepped forward shooting out a fist that was meant to connect with Teyla's jaw but was easily blocked. She punched left, right, left, right, over and over but again was easily blocked. On one punch, Teyla grabbed her wrist, spun and slammed her face first into the nearest wall stunning her for a moment and eliciting a gasp from the crowd.

Jennifer heard whispering among Lorne's men and the attendants. She smiled when she saw money changing hands. She was certain that Teyla was favored to win by the men from Atlantis. They knew her abilities well and many had even gone up against her, some with disastrous results.

The queen's sister recovered quicker than expected. She turned, raised her right knee, turned her hip over and lashed out leading with her heel in an attempt to kick Teyla in the abdomen. Teyla jumped back and the shot missed with Flora now facing Teyla's right. In retaliation, Teyla turned slightly to the left, drew her right arm across her body, stepped forward and backhanded her. She spun around and fell to the mat with a hard thump that knocked all the wind out of her.

While Flora lay there gasping, Teyla flipped her onto her stomach, straddled her hips, hooked both feet over her thighs to restrict the use of her legs, twisted one arm behind her and pressed her forearm against the back of her neck. Unable to get leverage to throw the other woman off, Flora sagged to the mat in defeat.

A cheer went up from the soldiers from Atlantis, including Lorne. Jennifer did a double-take when she saw Woolsey reach into his inside pocket and pass several bills to the military SIC. Lorne crossed his arms and looked supremely satisfied.

Teyla climbed off of Flora and stood. When the defeated woman rolled to her back, Teyla stepped forward and offered her hand. Accepting defeat gracefully, Flora stretched out a hand allowing Teyla to pull her up. The Athosian kept an arm around her waist until she could lower her to a chair then took the seat next to her. Both women were breathing hard and perspiring. An attendant approached with goblets of sparkling water and cool wet towels. Flora put a hand to her head and closed her eyes for a brief moment. Teyla spoke quietly to her, a hand on her arm in question and a frown crossing her features. Flora pushed Teyla's hand away and shook her head.

Joran stepped forward, stating formally, "The winner for the hand of John Sheppard is…Teyla Emmagan. We shall take a few minutes respite before the beginning of the next challenge." He made a small bow and moved toward the exit.

Jennifer watched Harmony watch the young man walk away. She recognized the look on her face. The same expression looked back at her from the mirror when she thought about Rodney. Harmony was in love with Joran but didn't realize it yet. Jennifer drummed her fingers on her thigh as she developed a new strategy. She caught Teyla's eye and the two women went out the exit then down the hall to the facilities where they had a quick whispered conversation.

Teyla caught up with Joran a few minutes later as he was returning to the arena and spoke with him. The questions she asked were designed to get him to reveal his feelings for Harmony, if any. Back in the arena she met Jennifer's eye and nodded once.

Lorne and Woolsey noticed the byplay but said nothing.

**Atlantis**

Sheppard strode purposefully up to Amelia's Ops workstation. She was tapping at the keyboard at an incredible rate, nearly as fast as McKay.

"Amelia, _where_ is Woolsey?"

"He's offworld, sir."

"I _know_ but offworld _where?_" She looked at him, her eyes flicked down and to the left. Not exactly a lie but she was hiding something.

"I…can't say."

He rubbed his neck. The smell that had been pervasive since he'd spent the night with Flora was a little more tolerable now. At least women weren't running from him in disgust. "Do you know where Major Lorne and his team are?"

"They're, uh, offworld as well."

The Colonel huffed in frustration as Rodney approached Ops. "John, have you seen Jennifer? She wasn't in the Infirmary when I went there to pick up a new supply of allergy meds. I can't find Teyla either."

John rubbed the top of his head as he paced back and forth in front of the DHD. On his third lap he stopped suddenly, turned and stared at Rodney his forehead wrinkled in thought.

"Your Spidey-sense again?" The scientist asked.

He gestured as he spoke. "Yes. Its putting the pieces together and I don't like the picture I'm seeing."

Rodney thought a few minutes then understanding dawned. "_No!_ Why would they…?"

"Not sure but it can't be good." John touched his headset. "Sheppard to Ronon."

"Ronon."

"Come to Ops. There's a situation and I need your help." A few minutes later the Satedan appeared taking the last few steps in one stride.

"What's up?"

"McKay and I have to make a quick trip and need you to be in charge until we return."

"What about…?"

"Offworld."

"And…"

"Her, too."

"But…"

Sheppard ignored him and turned to Amelia. "Dial M84-414. We're taking a Jumper."

"But sir, I have orders from Mr. Woolsey…"

He turned to Rodney in frustration but the physicist was already on the move. He went to the DHD, dialed the address of Harmony's world then locked the controls so no one could shut it down before they could leave. That done he followed Sheppard up the stairs to the Jumper Bay. The small ship lowered into the Gate Room and shot through the Stargate a few moments later.

"I have a feeling…" Ronon's voice was impassive but his words were not. "Dial M84-414 again."

She did as requested but the address was locked out. The Satedan sighed in resignation. For the first time ever _he_ was in command of Atlantis.

* * * * *

John landed the Jumper outside the settlement and the two men hurried to the castle's main entrance. "We have to see the queen immediately!" He told the sentries.

One, a thirty-ish man with blonde hair, stated in a bored voice, "Her Majesty is unavailable at this time. Come back tomorrow."

"We have to see her now! Let us in or…"

"John," Rodney interrupted his friend, "please, let _me_ handle this before you get us thrown in the dungeon."

The Colonel stepped back waving the physicist forward. "By all means…"

Rodney drew himself up, puffed out his chest and, in his most arrogant voice said, "Don't you know who I_ am? __I_ am Dr. Rodney McKay, _hero_ to the crown and…" he paused for a deep breath, his fingers crossed behind his back, "…betrothed to Queen Harmony. That makes me _your_ future king! Now stand aside and let us pass or I will see to it that you are thrown in prison and never again see the light of day!"

The two men bowed, lowering their eyes. "Forgive me, Your Highness. I did not recognize you. Please, enter. The queen and her sister are still engaged in the challenge. One of the attendants will show you the way."

Inside, John looked at Rodney with a mixture of awe and admiration. "Wow! You know, you'd make a _great_ king, Rodney."

"Oh, you think so?" Rodney smiled at the compliment then snorted at John's next comment.

"Yeah. You're arrogant, pompous, condescending, and patronizing. All trademarks of a first-rate king."

**TBC**


	4. A Little Oomph

**A/N: **Many, many thanks to DaniWilder for all of her suggestions and the Beta. Thanks also to lone-ranger1 for his suggestions and Beta of the fight scenes though it still astounds me that people would actually want to fight for "fun."

_Gracias mi amigos,_

JJ

**Dis-Harmony**

**Chapter Four**

**A Little Oomph**

**Harmony and Jennifer**

Jennifer took a deep breath and tried to remember everything Teyla and Ronon had taught her about sparring: Focus on your opponent, never, _ever_ look away; it shows weakness, find your opponent's weakness and exploit it, strike without warning, use your surroundings, create weaknesses for your opponent, do what you must to control the fight. _Oh, wait, that's how you fight _dirty_. Well, all's fair in love and war…and this is both!_

She stepped onto the mat next to Harmony and turned to face the spectators. Evan Lorne caught her eye and flashed her a thumbs-up. Woolsey gave her a confident smile. _Okay, Jen, you survived medical school. You can _do_ this!_

The women bowed to each other then stepped back into the fighting ready position and began circling. Harmony stepped forward twisting to increase the power behind the punch she threw at Jennifer. She missed when Jennifer turned to the side at the last second. Harmony still had some forward momentum and Jennifer used it to propel her onward with a forearm strike on the back. She fell face down on the mat and rolled quickly to her feet.

They began circling again but closer this time. The women feinted forward and back testing each other's reactions. Then, suddenly, Harmony dropped down, sweeping her leg around and knocking Jennifer off her feet. The air in her lungs rushed out at the impact with a yelp. She rolled to her stomach and pushed to her feet, swinging her arm around in a move meant to stun the younger woman. She was blocked and Harmony slipped in behind her and got her in a half-nelson.

"Jennifer, continue to struggle but please do not break my hold as yet. We must speak." She whispered urgently.

The doctor was confused but did as requested. "Go ahead."

"I have seen the look of love in your eyes for the hero to the crown, Rodney McKay. If I had known that he had the love of another I would not have chosen him as my husband."

"Then why are we fighting?"

Harmony exhaled, her warm breath brushing over Jennifer's ear. "Once the challenge was issued, I could not decline. To do so would have made me appear weak. A good leader cannot inspire her people if she does not have their respect."

Jennifer agreed. "So…we fight. On Earth we have something called professional wrestling. The entire thing is staged for the benefit of the spectators and no one really gets hurt. We just have to make it _look_ good." Jennifer twisted her features and moaned as if in pain struggling to get away.

"Ah, I understand. We will…fake it. Excellent!"

* * * * *

Rodney and John followed the male attendant down a long corridor they'd never seen before.

"_Where_ are you taking us?" Rodney demanded.

"To the arena, Your Highness. The challenge will continue for a while yet as Queen Harmony and her opponent have only just begun their battle."

"Challenge?" John asked. "Pretend we know absolutely _nothing_ about whatever it is you're talking about."

He inclined his head. "Yes, Sir John. When the queen has chosen her consort, he is given until the first day of the next lunar cycle to respond to the proposal. Many spend that time meditating upon the new life they would lead should they accept. If a challenge is made either for the hand of the queen or her chosen consort, it must be issued no more and no less than three days before. The same applies to the queen's sister's consort.

"At this time, both Queen Harmony _and_ Lady Flora have been challenged. The battle between Lady Flora and her opponent has already reached its conclusion and the battle for the hand of Your Majesty, Rodney McKay, has just begun."

John and Rodney exchanged confused glances. John's throat caught momentarily wondering just _who_ had decided to fight for him. "Umm, just so we're all on the same page here, the winner in the challenge for my hand was…"

"Why, it was Teyla Emmagan, daughter of Tagaan and Torren, of course."

"_Teyla?!_" John's voice squeaked and he cleared his throat. Oh, Teyla would most _certainly _make him pay for this one. And pay and pay and…

Rodney's forehead wrinkled in confusion after some stifled snorts in John's general direction. "If Teyla fought with Flora over _John_, then who could be fighting for _my_ hand?"

The attendant laughed. "We did not know that the queen's consort would have such an appealing sense of humor, sir. Truly, life within the residence will be even more delightful once you have joined us for we are certain that Her Majesty, Queen Harmony, will prevail."

Knowing full well that his life was about to get a lot more complicated no matter who won, Rodney was _not_ in a patient mood. "Yes, yes. Of _course_ it will. Just _answer_ the _question!_"

"Queen Harmony is at this moment doing battle with Jennifer Keller, daughter of Grace and Jacob." Leaning toward them conspiratorially, he added, "There has been much wagering between the staff and the soldiers from Atlantis that accompanied Mr. Woolsey. It should be a very…interesting contest."

Now it was John stifling a laugh, clamping his lips together to keep from openly howling. He shot an unsympathetic glance at Rodney. The physicist seemed more confused than anything and kept strangely silent as the young man continued.

"I must warn you, the spectators are not permitted to interfere with the challenge in any way or they will be escorted from the residence." They arrived at the workout room and the young man gestured them in. Slipping quietly into the room they took the first seats they came to. Fortunately, there wasn't a bad seat in the house, so to speak, and they both had an excellent view of the arena where, at that moment, Harmony had Jennifer in a half-nelson.

"Oh, my God!" Rodney exclaimed.

"I _know!_"

"That is so…so…"

"…_hot!_" John finished with an ever so slightly disturbed smirk and eyebrow wiggle.

Rodney nodded vigorously. "Oh, _yeah!_ You know what would be even _hotter?_"

John nodded thinking regretfully about the fight they'd missed between Teyla and Flora. "Bikinis."

"Yeah, Jennifer, Teyla and Flora but not, you know, Harmony."

"Oh, yeah, yeah, of course." John agreed adamantly. "After all, she's just a _girl_. Just thinking about her that way even for a _second_ gives me a major case of the creeps, like I need to wash my mind out with industrial strength soap." He shivered in mock revulsion.

Rodney agreed and John could tell that wasn't _all_ that was on his mind. "What _else _are you thinking?"

"Jennifer, her hair all messy, blue Jell-O, bikini, a long…_hot_…bubble bath together…" Rodney smiled dreamily at the mental image.

* * * * *

The women swayed back and forth a few times then Harmony let go and Jennifer slammed into a wall. While she was stunned, Harmony jumped on her back screaming and Jennifer stumbled around trying to throw her off. They fell to the floor, Harmony rolling quickly away and coming to her feet. Jennifer also came to her feet, shaking her head to clear it, and reaching for one of the weapons near her. Her hand came back with a set of sticks that were similar to the Bantos rods Teyla had trained her to use. She began swinging them around and around to get the feel of them.

Harmony ran to the opposite wall and picked up another set of the same type of sticks spinning back around just in time to defend herself from Jennifer's attack. They moved around the floor swinging left and right over and over, sometimes connecting, sometimes missing.

Eventually, Jennifer knocked away one of Harmony's sticks and, with a smile of triumph, pursued her around the floor. Harmony was able, just, to parry all of Jennifer's strikes, then she saw an opening and attempted to sweep Jennifer's feet from under her again but the doctor was able to leap out of the way. Harmony's swing left her facing away from Jennifer who brought both hands together then up and over as she stepped forward. Harmony took her stick in both hands and raised it above her head blocking what could have been a "killing" blow. She ducked and rolled coming to her feet again, the stick held out in front of her like a sword. With an irreverent smile, Jennifer tossed away one of her own sticks and copied Harmony's stance.

* * * * *

Rodney's eyes were unfocused. He was still picturing Jennifer in a bikini, clumps of Jell-O stuck to her skin and in her blonde hair while she wrestled with Harmony who, not surprisingly, in this…fantasy, was wearing baggy gym shorts and an oversized t-shirt with the image of a famous mouse on the front.

He gasped when Jennifer hit the wall. His protective streak surged to the surface and he started to rise. Next to him Sheppard was sitting with one arm slung over the back of his chair and his right ankle resting on the left knee. His free hand pulled Rodney back to his seat then raised his finger to his lips in a shushing gesture to remind him of the non-interference rule. His face was intense as he watched the fight. He leaned close to Rodney. "I can't _believe_ we missed the first fight! Teyla must have taken Flora out within seconds, thank goodness, or Flora would be all over me right now."

He scanned the group and found Teyla and Flora sitting together off to one side. Flora had her head in her hands and her eyes closed as if in pain. Teyla leaned close, one hand on her shoulder, saying something they couldn't hear. Flora shook her head and pushed Teyla's hand away motioning her away with an imperious wave of her hand. Teyla did not do as directed and stayed by her side.

"_I_ can't believe _Jennifer_ is fighting with Harmony over _me_. In my dreams it was always Jennifer and Sam…in bikinis…with blue Jell-O…or chocolate…pudding." He cleared his throat when he realized that he'd just given John way too much information…again and turned his attention back to the spectacle before them.

His friend gave him a look that said he was reevaluating his mental health. "Maybe they have a deal in place where the _loser_ gets _you._"

"Oh, hahahahaha! _That_ is an insult to the _possible_ future king and a punishable offence. I wonder if they still behead criminals here."

John gave him a contemptuous stare then turned back to the fight.

* * * * *

Harmony tripped and fell backwards, her stick flying off to hit Woolsey in the shins. Jennifer tossed her own stick away then dropped to the floor and got Harmony in a half-nelson, her mouth close to the teenager's ear.

"We need to amp this up a bit, add a little…oomph_,_ _really _give them a show."

"What do you have in mind?"

"We should go 'Jerry Springer' on them and have a _real _cat fight. Hair-pulling, rolling on the floor, screaming, slapping, ripping clothes, some taunting, but no biting, scratching or name-calling."

Harmony sorted through Jennifer's words trying to discern their meaning. "Agreed." She began to thrash around and shriek. They rolled over and over, back and forth both making loud inarticulate sounds of anger and pain.

* * * * *

Rodney and John leapt to their feet when the women rolled out of sight craning their necks to see. Now things were getting _very_ interesting. They moved forward until they reached the front row where they slipped into seats next to Woolsey and Lorne. John leaned over and asked his SIC, "Who's favored to win?"

"At the moment it's 50-50, but the tide could turn either way." Behind them the soldiers shouted occasional words of encouragement, ever mindful of the rule against interfering.

John pulled a couple of wrinkled bills from his pocket and passed them to Lorne. "Keller to win."

Woolsey leaned into the conversation. "According to their traditions, you aren't supposed to know about this until _after_ the fact. Who _told_ you?"

"No one. We…" Rodney replied with a distracted tone. His eyes never left the women who were still rolling back and forth on the floor shrieking and gasping. "…guessed."

All four men brought their complete attention back to the fight when the women broke away from each other and jumped to their feet. They were again circling each other their chests heaving from their exertions.

* * * * *

Suddenly, Jennifer grabbed the front of Harmony's shirt. Harmony broke her hold and reached for another weapon but the doctor wrapped a hand around her long braid of dark hair and yanked…_hard._ Harmony's head snapped back. With a wordless growl of anger, she turned and slapped Jennifer in the face. Jennifer's eyes went very wide in surprise. Her hand came up and slapped her back. They went on like that, slapping each other, until Harmony stomped on her foot and gave her a shove. Jennifer stumbled backward into Rodney's lap. The goblet he was holding was knocked from his hand to land in Woolsey's lap. The commander jumped up as an attendant ran forward with a towel.

For a split second Rodney's eyes locked with hers and he saw…love? His arms came up to gather her closer but she pushed off of him and dove back into the fight.

Jennifer growled as she rushed forward hands outstretched as if to take Harmony by the throat. She loved the feel of touching Rodney in such an innocent yet intimate way but couldn't allow it to distract her.

Harmony stepped to the side and tripped her. Jennifer landed hard, rolled to her feet and retaliated by backhanding her. The young woman spun around and fell against the wall. A banner with the royal crest came off the wall enveloping her in its bright red folds. She battled from under it just as Jennifer grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her to the center of the mat. She twirled her around, bent her at the waist and wrapped an arm around her neck in a headlock.

"You're doing _great_, Your Majesty! Ready for the big finish?"

"I am indeed. In a few moments, Rodney will be yours for all eternity."

"You got _that_ right!" She whispered with delight. "Time to tear some clothes!"

"And taunt!"

"Of course. Just don't take it personally."

"As _you_ should not."

Harmony stumbled around trying to get leverage. When she couldn't, she reached up, gave a high-pitched yell of anger and yanked on Jennifer's hair. Jennifer yelped when her head snapped back, her hold loosening. Harmony slipped out of her grasp and got her in a full nelson. Jennifer let herself go limp, wriggled out of her arms, dropped to the floor, rolled away and came to her feet again hands up and ready.

"If you truly cared for Rodney, Jennifer, you would have dispatched me long ago!" Harmony taunted. "Perhaps you are too _old_ for such things!"

Jennifer laughed scornfully. "Too _old?_ Well, you just _watch_, little girl! I'm gonna _win_ this thing and he'll be mine _now_ instead of yours in _five years_!"

* * * * *

Rodney sat up straighter at Jennifer's words. It sounded like she…loved him. _Did_ she love him? The images inside his head that had distracted him since he and John arrived at the arena blurred and changed. Instead of the love of his life standing there in a bikini covered with his favorite dessert, he now saw her in uniform holding his hand as they walked the corridors of Atlantis. She was gazing up at him with love in her eyes and on her lips.

The scene changed again and she was dressed in a long white gown with one of those floaty veil things on her head and was saying, "I, Jennifer, take you, Rodney, as my husband…" He heard himself say back, "I, Rodney, take you, Jennifer, as my wife…"

Quick on the heels of that was a vision of Jennifer in a hospital bed, her blonde hair damp and messy. He thought she never looked more beautiful as she cradled a tiny screaming figure wrapped in a pink blanket. "Dr. McKay, I'd like you to meet your daughter."

"Rodney? Rodney?" John was snapping his fingers in his face. "Are you okay? Where did you go just now?"

"Uh…" He looked stunned as he turned back to the fight.

* * * * *

Harmony made a sound of rage and ran at her. Jennifer grabbed her wrist, spun her around several times, letting go at just the right point to allow her momentum to send her crashing into a rack of weapons knocking the entire array to the floor. She lay there stunned, unable to move.

Joran waited a few seconds then started forward. He gasped when Jennifer strode purposefully toward the woman on the floor, kicked all the weapons out of the way, yanked her to her feet by the front of her shirt and dragged her to the center of the mat again. Harmony's hands flexed as they tried to pry Jennifer's fingers loose. When that proved futile, she grabbed Jennifer's upper arms and the women pushed and pulled at each other, spinning back and forth stumbling around the mat.

Suddenly, Harmony unclenched one hand from around Jennifer's bicep and a slashing sound split the air. The entire left leg of Jennifer pants fell around her ankle.

Jennifer thought a silent prayer that the young woman was not naked under her workout gear and, with a primal scream, grasped Harmony's shirt at the shoulder and pulled down tearing the sleeve off and slitting it down the side. Underneath, she had on a garment similar to the athletic bras the women from Earth usually wore for exercise. Jennifer rolled her eyes at the sky in gratitude_._

* * * * *

A collective gasp went through the spectators. In his mind, John was hearing the crowd chanting "Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!" He looked over at Rodney and did a classic double-take. His friend was doing a bad impression of Munch's _The Scream: _eyes wide, hands on his cheeks and mouth open in a silent, uh, scream.

Woolsey whispered, "Oh, good Lord!" and covered his eyes. In less than ten seconds his curiosity got the better of him. He peeked between his fingers breathing a sigh of relief that the women had not stripped each other naked.

* * * * *

Jennifer turned her hips to the left, brought her right leg through and back taking Harmony to the floor. While she lay there gasping, Jennifer dropped down and got her in a half-nelson again wrapping her legs around both of Harmony's. The young queen struggled but was unable to break her hold.

Panting, her face red, her eintire body damp with perspiration, Harmony went limp and stammered, "I-I-I…concede!"

A cheer went through the spectators and, as one, Woolsey, Lorne, John, the soldiers and, of course, Rodney leaped to their feet shouting and applauding. The attendants were a little more restrained though they smiled and applauded politely.

Jennifer held on until Joran stepped forward, motioning for quiet. "The winner for the hand of Rodney McKay is…Jennifer Keller! This challenge has ended!"

John leaned over to Rodney and said. "Well, looks like you aren't going to be king after all. You get to keep your old job and _I _get to keep my head."

Jennifer climbed to her feet and, as Teyla had done previously with Flora, extended a hand. The young queen took the proffered hand without the same hesitation her sister had shown toward Teyla while the attendants again rushed forward with goblets of water and cool, wet towels.

Rodney watched in confusion as Harmony and Jennifer smiled at each other and embraced. He stood as she made her way over to him. The shy smile on her face matched his. "So, uh, Jennifer-"

The noise level had risen steadily as the Atlanteans cheered and shouted praise to the doctor and Teyla for their skill at dispatching the obviously well-trained young women. Money changed hands between the soldiers and the attendants though there was no animosity. It was all taken in good fun.

Everything and everyone came to an abrupt halt when Teyla's anxious voice shouted above the clamor. "Jennifer! Jennifer, come quickly! Something is wrong with Flora!"

**TBC**


	5. A Woman's Weapon

**A/N: **Many, many thanks to DaniWilder for all of her suggestions and the Beta.

_Gracias mi amiga,_

JJ

**Dis-Harmony**

**Chapter Five**

**A Woman's Weapon**

Jennifer hurried to Flora's side followed closely by, well just about everyone else in the room. Lorne ordered the soldiers back except for Brackman who was the keeper of the medkit.

"Flora, what's wrong?" Jennifer looked into her eyes as she took her pulse. Brackman opened the medkit and passed her the instruments she asked for. She strapped a wrist BP cuff on her arm and told her to hold it across her chest.

"I do not know. I am dizzy and cannot keep my mind focused."

"What else?" Flora's eyes closed and Jennifer lightly slapped her cheeks. "Come on! Stay with me! What else?"

"I feel as if I am going to…" She leaned forward and lost the contents of her stomach. Harmony took a goblet from one of the attendants and held it to her sister's lips while another came forward with a cloth for her face then began cleaning up the mess. "My arms and legs feel strange, as if they will not support me if I stand and, and…my head is beginning to hurt."

The BP cuff beeped and Jennifer removed it from Flora's wrist. "Her BP is elevated and going up! We have to get her to Atlantis. She needs more than I have here."

John pushed his way to the front of the group and knelt beside Jennifer. "Flora, its John."

Her eyes opened and she gave him a loopy smile. "Oh, John, it is good to see you again. I am so sorry but I have lost the challenge." She reached over and took Teyla's hand. "You now belong to the daughter of Tagaan and Torren."

"Yes, you do. We will…talk about that when we return to Atlantis." Teyla's dark gaze held a promise that he wasn't sure he liked.

John gulped. He knew that she would be ruthless in her quest for…revenge seemed such a strong word but it was the only one that fit with the expression on her beautiful face. Flora was speaking again and he turned his attention back to her.

"I am also sorry for…"

"We have to get you to the Infirmary on Atlantis, Flora. Don't worry about anything else." He stood. "Can you walk?"

"I…believe so." He took her hand and helped her to her feet. Her knees gave out and he caught her, lifting her in his arms. She was now unconscious.

"Let's go! The Jumper is just outside the settlement gates."

Jennifer practically had to run to keep up with him, the missing leg of her pants making her look comical though no one was laughing. "That was an amazing bit of foresight, John."

"No kidding." Rodney interjected derisively. "He only did it because he didn't want to walk all the way from the 'gate."

"Not now, Rodney!"

The physicist lapsed into an annoyed silence until he noticed that Harmony was beside him. "Harmony! Where do you think you're going?"

"My sister is ill. I will accompany you to Atlantis and stay with her until she is well enough to return." Her mouth was set in a stubborn line.

"But what about the royal council? Will they let you leave?"

She drew herself up to her full height, barely 160 centimeters, "I am their _queen!_ They would not _dare_ prevent me from doing what I must!"

He sighed in resignation. She really was a strong-willed young woman. "Okay. When we get there, I'll, uh, get you something else to wear."

She looked down at her torn shirt. "It would be greatly appreciated, Rodney."

The council did indeed try to keep Harmony from leaving. When that didn't work they tried to send an escort of guards but she put the kibosh on that, too. "I am in the company of the heroes of the crown! I require no other protection!"

They reached the Jumper and everyone piled in while John laid Flora on the floor of the rear compartment at Jennifer's direction. Harmony and Rodney knelt beside Jennifer ready to assist if they were needed. He pulled off his jacket and tucked it under Flora's head.

Lorne closed the hatch while John hurried forward and started the Jumper's engines. They lifted into the air and headed for the 'gate. The Jumper made the trip in seconds where usually it was an hour long walk through the forest.

Jennifer turned to look at Rodney and smiled. Involuntarily, her hand reached out to touch him. "Rodney, I…"

"Jennifer! Flora is not breathing!" Harmony called out.

"John! You need to hurry!" The doctor shouted over her shoulder. She pulled a pocket mask and portable oxygen tank from the lower storage compartment and began pushing air into the unconscious woman's lungs.

"Hurrying!" He was concentrating fully on flying the ship completely ignoring what was going on behind him. "Sorry folks. We won't be stopping at the gift shop this trip."

Woolsey had taken the shotgun seat. "That's too bad because I really wanted a t-shirt." At John's order he dialed the DHD then transmitted his IDC and a request for a medical team to meet them in the Jumper Bay. Seconds later they entered the event horizon and the 'gate shut down.

* * * * *

Flora was sleeping peacefully in the Infirmary with Harmony beside her. The young woman was also asleep with her head on her sister's bed and holding one of her hands. Her torn clothing had been replaced with one of Rodney's t-shirts and was a mile too big for her. Jennifer stood there watching the two sisters. She'd always wanted a sibling but it just never happened. Mom passed away and dad had refused to even entertain the idea of marrying again. But once she and Rodney were together she planned on claiming Jeannie as a sister whether they married or not.

An odd smell reached her nose just before she heard soft footsteps stop beside her. "How is she, Doc?"

"She'll be fine in a few days. I'm still waiting for lab results but her symptoms are classic withdrawal. I spoke to Harmony but she swears Flora never uses anything that isn't prescribed by the alchemist."

"I believe her. The hardest thing I ever saw her use was a glass of wine. I-"

"John," she interrupted him, "what _is_ that smell?"

"You mean the wet llama smell?" He rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, that's, uh, kinda what I wanted to see you about."

She motioned him to an exam table and had him sit while she took his vitals. "I'm going to need some blood."

"Okay, but only take what you need. I'm using the rest."

"When did this start?" She had her back to him while she prepared the equipment she would need.

"A, uh, few weeks ago."

"Yes, I remember now. It was right around…"

"…the time Rodney and I went to M84-414 the first time." She tightened the tourniquet around his bicep and cleansed the inside of his right elbow. He looked away when she inserted the needle and popped the vacuum tube in. It filled quickly and she replaced it with another. She removed the tourniquet, pressed a cotton ball to the site and instructed him to raise his arm above his head while she handed the tubes to a tech and ordered the tests.

"So…wanna tell me what happened while you were there?"

"Not…really." He picked invisible bits of lint from his pants.

She smiled knowingly. "Oh-ho, so Lady Flora got a bit frisky with our boy."

"The, uh, smell started the next morning. Rodney, um, mentioned it at breakfast." He blushed, unable to meet her eyes. "It goes away when I take a shower then comes back. Though, it _is_ taking longer to return now than in the beginning." The medical doctor just watched him without blinking.

"Now let me make sure I have _all _the facts. You had _sex _with Flora, you _didn't_ use protection and the next morning you had this unusual…scent."

"Yeah, that's about it." Jennifer just kept staring at him with that perceptive smirk. "Will you _please_ stop looking at me like that? I'm sorry I…"

"…didn't keep it in your pants?"

"Jennifer!"

"Sorry." She didn't sound sorry at all. A beep from the workstation behind her drew her attention away from John and he sagged in relief that those brown eyes were no longer peering into his soul, judging him and finding him lacking.

His relief was short-lived. She began to laugh, softly at first, then harder and harder. She doubled over and continued to laugh until her throat was sore and she started coughing. Tears streaming down her face, she kept shaking her head in astonishment.

"_What?_ What's so _funny?_"

Finally, she managed to stop, her breath coming in great gulps. "S-s-sorry, J-John, but, hehehehe, _you_ have been, oh, God, _tagged_."

"Tagged? What do you mean _tagged_?"

She motioned him over to the monitor where a chemical diagram was displayed. "See here, here and here," she pointed. "Something has altered your pheromones. It appears that it was designed to make you unattractive to every female except…"

"Except…?"

"Flora." Another diagram came up next to his. The flashing areas were identical. "Unfortunately, it created a very different reaction in her. She's…" Jennifer put a hand over her mouth to stem the flow of laughter that was threatening again.

"Will you please stop laughing and just _say_ it?"

"Flora is going through…withdrawals."

"You mean she a-a-and I…when we…and then…now we're…"

"Uh-huh." She clamped her lips together.

"Oh, _crap!_" He turned back to the exam table and leaned both hands on it. "Is there any way to stop it?"

"Well, _that's_ the good news. It's already beginning to break down in your system. In another couple of weeks it will be gone and you will be back to what passes for normal." He turned back to her with his arms crossed.

"What about Flora? Will _she _be okay?"

"Yes, she'll be over her 'addiction' in the same amount of time. I have meds she can take that will manage the symptoms until then."

"Great! I-I-I mean, for both of us. What about shaking hands, hugging, that sort of thing? And I carried her to the Jumper."

"Causal physical interaction is completely safe. It only works with _intimate_ contact. Just make sure you don't, uh, with her ever again, with or without protection or it will regenerate the dependency on her part and probably bring back that smell."

"You do _not_ have to worry about that, Doc. I've…"

"Learned your lesson? I doubt that but I'll accept the fiction as fact and let it go."

"Uh, you're not going to…"

"Tell anyone?" She looked indignant. "Of course not. That would be a breach of doctor" she winked at him, "Kirk confidentiality." He rolled his eyes and left the Infirmary.

* * * * *

Hours later Flora opened her eyes and looked around at the unfamiliar setting of the infirmary. Harmony now had a tray of food in front of her.

"Harmony? Where are we?"

"Flora! We are in Atlantis." She pushed the rolling table out of her way and stood. "Jennifer, come quickly!"

When Jennifer arrived at Flora's bedside the sisters were embracing. "How do you feel?"

The young woman thought a moment. "I have studied your idioms and I believe the proper response is 'did someone get the number of the truck that hit me?' Though I do not know what a truck is."

Jennifer laughed. "It's a large ground vehicle propelled by a combustion engine. Harmony, would you leave us alone, please? I need to speak privately with your sister."

Flora nodded and Harmony went out the Infirmary exit followed closely by two Marine guards.

"What is wrong with me, Jennifer? Do I have an illness for which there is no cure?"

"No, of course not. You'll be fine in a couple of weeks." Quickly and succinctly, Jennifer told her the cause of her collapse and how to prevent it from happening again.

"I must apologize to John for causing difficulty for him. I did not know that our assignation would bring about such events." She looked down at her hands where they were playing with the folds in the blanket light pink tingeing her cheeks.

"Oh. Well, uh, now you know. At least the worst part is over. You will only get better from here on out and I have medication that you can take to ease your symptoms. Also, you can call us at any time. I or one of my staff can be there in just a few minutes."

"What about when I marry? I would not wish for my husband to also be ill because of this."

"That's the other good news. According to my research, regular intimate contact will prevent the side effects that you and Colonel Sheppard experienced."

"What were John's side effects?"

"He only had one. He acquired an odor problem that is already getting better."

Flora looked bewildered. "I did not notice anything different about his scent. In fact, I thought he smelled…I think 'yummy' is the word your people would use." Jennifer laughed again and, as simply as possible, explained why that was so.

Jennifer ordered a light meal for her patient, made a few notes in her file and excused herself after advising the guards that Harmony could return.

That accomplished she left the Infirmary, her steps purposeful. It was time to claim her prize!

* * * * *

Jennifer made a few inquiries and was told that Rodney was in his quarters. Now here she was standing at his door dithering. _Oh, come on, Keller! What are you waiting for? You won and he belongs to you now. It may not have been a fair fight but that doesn't really matter so stop being a coward and-_

The door snapped open breaking into her mental acrobatics. "Jennifer?"

She didn't say anything, just stepped forward pushing him back into the room so the door would close. One last hard push and he fell onto the bed. She jumped on top of him, straddling his hips and trapping his head with her arms while she kissed him senseless. Her lips left his and moved over his cheeks and down his neck making him moan.

"Mmm." His eyes had drifted closed the second her lips touched him but when she stopped he opened them again. She sat up, her firm backside resting on the tops of his thighs as her hands pulled her top over her head and tossed it to the floor.

"Jennifer, wh-what are you, _oh,_ doing?"

"Duh! I'm getting undressed of course."

"Um…"

She pushed to her feet and kicked off her shoes while unbuttoning her slacks. "It's easier to make love if we're naked but I'm sure we can figure out a way to make it work if you would rather keep yours on."

"You want to…"

"Well, _yeah_. I won the challenge so you belong to me now." His stomach hit the floor at the same time as her slacks. She was now standing in front of him in a matching bra and panties and nothing else. "Come on, McKay. You're way behind. Take 'em off!"

"Yes, Ma'am." He hurried to do her bidding and before long they were both naked under the covers, his deeper laughter mixing with her giggles.

* * * * *

"What's wrong, Your Highness?" Jennifer had found Harmony sitting alone on the balcony on the Infirmary level. She was gazing at the sky with a strange sadness in her eyes.

"For the first time since I became queen I must disappoint my people. They are expecting me to become betrothed and I no longer have a prospective husband."

"Oh, okay. _This_ I can fix. I have a movie for you to watch while you're here. It's called 'The Princess Diaries 2'. I think you will find it very enlightening."

Harmony's forehead creased in thought. "Tell me of this movie."

"Princess Mia is being forced to marry someone she doesn't love to abide by an antiquated law that says she must have a husband in order to be queen. A marriage is arranged but just before the wedding she tells the royal council that she will _not_ be getting married so they need a new law. They agree, she becomes queen and they all live happily ever after."

"But it is our way. The queen _must_ have a husband to advise and council her."

"Why? Flora has been advising and counseling you for the last two and a half years. Why can't she continue to do so? Eventually, you'll find a man to love who loves you back. Then and _only then_ should you think about marrying. Remember, a woman's greatest weapon is her _voice_. Speak up for what you want and don't settle for anything less than the best!"

She thought about Jennifer's words. "I understand, but how will I find someone that cares for me the way Rodney does for you?"

The doctor smiled and put an arm around the young girl pulling her close. "When you get home, have a good look at the people around you. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you found that love has been staring you in the face all this time."

* * * * *

John approached the Infirmary, and Flora, with trepidation. He wouldn't be here now except that she had summoned him. _Demanded_ to see him, actually. He didn't know what to say to her or how to treat her after all they'd been through the past few weeks. _Just wing it, John!_

Harmony was on the bed with Flora's arm around her shoulders. Harmony's arm was across Flora's stomach and both women were asleep. He stood there watching them wishing, not for the first time, that he had that same sort of closeness with his brother, David. Maybe one day…

She opened her eyes when he touched her hand. Nudging Harmony awake, they spoke quietly a moment then the younger woman moved away in the company of her ever-present guards yawning and rubbing her eyes. To the guards she said, "I wish to go to the Mess Hall for something called a banana split. Take me there at once!"

"John, please, come and sit by me. There is something I must say to you." He rested his left hip on the bed beside her and waited for her to speak. She took his hand where is rested on his thigh and gave it a quick squeeze releasing him immediately. "I must apologize for everything that has happened. It was _my_ idea for you and Rodney to come for Mardola's service. I wanted to see you again and knew that both of you would come if she asked you to." She looked down, her cheeks reddening. "You should also know that my sole purpose in getting you to the settlement was to convince you to make love with me." She gave a small laugh. "Which was not as difficult as I had anticipated. I did not know about the…side effects these actions would create. Perhaps it also explains why mother advised the three of us to wait until we had chosen husbands to become intimate with a man. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

John thought about what she'd said but couldn't bring himself to be angry with her or hold a grudge. "Yes, of course you're forgiven. There was no _real_ harm done. Let's just forget about it and go back to being friends."

Her smile was bright. At least he did not detest her. "I would like that."

He picked up the tablet from the bedside table and handed it to her. "So, what're you reading?"

She hugged it to her chest a moment. "I am watching…Jennifer called it a _movie_. The events, though fictional, are extraordinarily…unsettling. She also said that I should advise _you_ to watch it as well."

His curiosity was piqued. "Really? What movie?"

"It is called…" She pressed a button and looked at the screen. "Ah, 'Fatal Attraction.'"

* * * * *

"Thank you for your assistance, John." Harmony and John were sitting together in the Mess Hall. "This will be an event to remember for all time."

John could hardly keep from laughing himself silly but was smart enough not to do it in front of Harmony. Her idea was a doozy and _he_ was in on the ground floor! He rubbed his hands together gleefully. _Oh, this is going to be fun! Rodney and Jennifer are _so_ clueless!_ "You have _no_ idea!"

"You know what your part is. All that is left is for me to inform Teyla of what _she_ must do then all is arranged. This will be the happiest of occasions! I must confess that I am quite excited!"

_You and me both! I can't _wait_ to see McKay's face!_

* * * * *

Harmony handed Rodney the t-shirt he'd leant her. "Thank you for the use of your garment, Rodney. Teyla and I are of a size and she has given me something to wear in its place so that I may return it to you."

"Well, why don't you just, uh, keep it? Consider it an early birthday present."

She held the shirt up. On the front was the image of a very famous Earth mouse. "Thank you. I will cherish it always." Rodney allowed her to hug him. "Please do not forget that the betrothal ceremony will be held immediately after the celebration so you, Jennifer, Teyla and John must dress appropriately." Rodney shot an icy glare at John when he heard a snort from the front of the Jumper.

"I won't. Good-bye!" He waved as the Jumper hatch closed, Jennifer at his side waving, too.

Just as the ship lowered into the Gate Room, Teyla hurried into the Jumper Bay. "John! John! _Wait!_" She had Torren in her arms and her brown eyes were shooting sparks.

"He'll be back in a couple of hours. He's just taking Flora and Harmony home."

The Athosian made a sound, a growl of anger and frustration. "Kanaan and I have not had time alone together in many weeks. As_ partial_ payment for my winning of the challenge John was supposed to care for Torren this evening so he and I could have a quiet dinner alone without distractions."

"Oh. Uh, what about…" Jennifer started and Teyla smiled with delight.

"Oh, _thank_ you, Jennifer!" She pushed the boy into Jennifer's arms and hung the diaper bag on Rodney's shoulder. "I do not know how I can ever repay the both of you! He must be fed, bathed and changed." Her voice echoed as she disappeared back down the hall. "We will not be late!"

"But-but-but…" Jennifer looked stricken.

Torren began to howl reaching out his chubby little arms in the direction that Teyla had just gone saying, "Mama! Mama!"

"Rodney! Help me! What do I _do?_"

His eyes still wide in shock, he said, "Don't all women know how to take care of babies?"

Her growl was reminiscent of the one Teyla had just uttered. "Rodney McKay, that has to be the most _idiotic_ thing you have _ever_ said! _I _am an only child. I was three years younger than all my classmates in high school and earned money _not_ by babysitting but by tutoring jocks who didn't know a _heptagon_ from a _hexagon_ or a square _root_ from a square _knot._ I have never even owned a _pet!_ So, just because I'm a _woman _does not mean that I am automatically endowed with the ability to know what a child needs. You at least had a younger sister so here," she took the diaper bag from his shoulder and handed him Torren, "_you_ take care of him and I'll…watch."

The second Torren was settled in Rodney's arms he stopped crying. He sniffled then stuck the fingers of his right hand in his mouth while his other hand tried to grab Rodney's nose. Jennifer watched in awe as the boy looked adoringly up at Rodney and smiled. "Wh-what did you do?"

"I…don't know. I guess he likes me."

"Well, kids always seem to love a grouch."

"Very funny." He motioned for the diaper bag and Jennifer held it open for him. After a quick search of the interior he came up with a container of baby wipes. He removed one and used it to wipe Torren's face and hands. "There you go, little guy. All better." Jennifer took the used wipe and stuck it in her jacket pocket. Still talking to the boy Rodney headed for the Jumper Bay exit. "How about if Uncle Rod and Auntie Jen take you to the Mess Hall and we get some blue Jell-O? Would you like that?" Rodney noticed Jennifer watching him with shining eyes and a big smile. "What?"

She kissed his cheek. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"Not in at least thirty or forty minutes."

"Well, I do. Lots and lots and lots." As they made their way to the transport Jennifer asked, "Betrothal ceremony?"

He shrugged. "I, uh, guess she's already chosen a new husband." He reached up to tap the transport screen. "I never thought I'd be watching my ex-fiancée getting engaged to another man. Teenagers can be _so_ fickle."

**TBC**


	6. Big Surprises and Small Packages

**Warning: **This chapter is like a stuffed animal, filled with fluff but I couldn't resist!

**A/N: **Many, many thanks to DaniWilder for all of her suggestions and the Beta.

_Gracias,_

JJ

**Dis-Harmony**

**Chapter 6**

**Big Surprises and Small Packages**

**Two Weeks Later**

Harmony's birthday celebration was nearly over. It had gone on _all day_ and Rodney was so tired he was heartily glad that they'd come in a pair of Jumpers so he wouldn't have to walk back to the Stargate. He rubbed his eyes, yawned and once again thought about a puzzling email he'd received from Jeannie stating that she was sorry she wouldn't be here for the big event because she couldn't spare a month away from her family at this time. Madison was starting school and Kaleb a new job so things were hectic in the Miller home. He pushed it out of his mind again and gazed at the paintings on the back wall.

Harmony, over her pre-teen pique at what had transpired at the Ruins of Larus, had made a change to the embarrassing painting of John crouching in terror while he, Rodney, fought off the rogue Genii singlehandedly. The redo now had John also holding a P-90 and looking semi-heroic though Rodney was still in the foreground.

But what really drew his eyes was the one next to it. The young queen had a painting created to commemorate the challenge. It was of Jennifer, Teyla, Harmony and Flora. They were all depicted as great warriors befitting the newest heroes to the crown, "another glorious victory." Jennifer, her blonde hair a halo around her head, looked strong, confident and fierce in her Athosian attire. His pride in her soared and not just because he loved her. Challenging Harmony had been a noble and, dare he say, gallant thing to do for _anyone_. He was just glad she'd done it for _him_. If he hadn't loved her before, _that_ would have done it!

He looked around the Great Hall. In addition to John, Teyla, Jennifer and himself, those in attendance included Woolsey, Lorne, Carson, Amanda Cole, Radek, Marie Cho, Ronon, Chuck, Amelia, and a few others. In fact, most of the Atlantis attendees were either from Medical or Science and Research. Another thing that puzzled him.

They were all dressed as he was, in a suit, dress or dress uniform. Why Harmony thought they needed to be dressed up for her birthday party he had _no_ idea. He thought about removing his tie but every time he tried either Teyla or Sheppard stopped him, though they did allow him to remove his jacket.

He sighed and knocked back the last of his wine. An attendant was there immediately to take the empty glass and hand him a full one. Just as he was bringing it to his lips a hand snatched it from him and replaced it on the attendant's tray. "No more wine for him." John ordered. "Water or tea only." And, as John had been reinstated as a hero to the crown, he was instantly obeyed.

"As you wish, Sir John."

"Hey, I was gonna drink that!" Rodney snapped indignantly.

"You've had plenty already. Stick to something non-alcoholic for the rest of the night."

Rodney crossed his arms and glared at John. "Funny, you don't _look _like my mother."

"Ha, ha. We still have a big night ahead of us and I do _not_ want you heaving in the Jumper on the way home."

The physicist opened his mouth to retort but was interrupted by the sound of trumpets. Rodney put his hands over his ears and winced.

Everyone got quiet and turned to face the dais where Harmony and Flora's thrones were positioned side by side. Seconds later, Teyla, holding Jennifer's hand, brought the physician over and made her sit next to Rodney. She took the seat next to her while John demanded the physicist put his jacket back on. He did albeit reluctantly. It was the same suit he'd worn to Mardola's funeral but with a blue shirt and less conservative tie in shades of blue that matched Jennifer's dress.

Jennifer was in a simple yet sexy Persian blue cocktail dress. It had a scooped but conservative neckline front and back, the area under her breasts was ruched to emphasize her curves and it had an asymmetrical hemline that fell to just below her knees. It flounced when she walked drawing the eye to the sway of her hips and toned legs. Her feet were tucked into two-inch strappy sandals and her hair was worn in an elegant yet simple up-do. Diamonds sparkled in her ears and around her neck.

Harmony stood and smiled at the group assembled before her. "I wish to thank all of you for attending the commemoration of the beginning of my seventeenth year of life. It has truly been a wonderful celebration. But now we must move on to an even more joyous occasion: The Betrothal Ceremony!" Applause thundered around the room as well as cheers and whistles from the group from Atlantis.

Rodney leaned over and whispered to John, "Oh, crap! I completely forgot. Were we supposed to bring an engagement gift?"

"_No!_ Now shut up!"

Harmony gestured for quiet as the officiator from Mardola's service stepped up beside her. He was wearing long white robes and carrying what looked like a bible. "Cleric Santo will perform the ceremony for…"

"Oh, boy. Here it comes. Now we get to find out who Harmony has chosen to replace me. Not that anyone ever _could._ I'm just saying."

"Will you be _quiet_ and listen?" John chastised him.

"…the heroes to the crown, Rodney McKay and his one true love, Jennifer Keller!"

* * * * *

Everyone applauded as they turned and looked at the couple sitting side by side with identical deer-in-the-headlights expressions. They looked at each other and in unison said, "Did you know about this? What? Of _course_ I didn't know!"

Then it hit Rodney. "Sheppard!"

The Air Force Colonel placed a hand over his heart. "I cannot tell a lie. It was _Harmony's_ idea."

"But…"

Teyla and John stood and urged Rodney and Jennifer to their feet. They stood but didn't move toward the front of the room and an uncomfortable silence began to descend. Sheppard leaned close and whispered in his ear, "Rodney! Take Jennifer's hand and walk to the front of the room. It's easy, left, right, left, right. There you go."

Rodney was so stunned that he obeyed automatically, his right hand grasping Jennifer's left pulling her forward. They reached the dais and Harmony directed them to stand in front of Cleric Santo, an older man with graying hair and white robes trimmed in gold.

Santo gestured and the room became so quiet Jennifer could hear the blood rushing through her veins. In fact, that's _all_ she could hear. Every other sound in the room had faded away. Her sense of touch had also deserted her. All she could feel was Rodney's hand clutching hers almost to the point of pain as they stood in front of their friends and the royal council.

Rodney was nearly paralyzed. He'd gone up against Wraith, murderous Genii, Michael's hybrids, super volcanoes and a tiny parasite that had invaded his brain but he was more scared now than at any other time in his life. Well, except for when he and Jeannie had been kidnapped by Henry Wallace and she'd been injected with nanites. There had been a real chance that his sister would die and that fear had motivated him to offer himself as a meal to the hungry Wraith they'd eventually named Todd.

Yes, he'd thought about marrying Jennifer. In fact, it was the first thing he'd thought about after their first night together, once he could think again. But he hadn't wanted to spring something like that on her too soon although he had already planned the event in his mind. They would have a romantic supper or a picnic under the stars, champagne, slow dancing, a few sweet kisses then he'd pull the perfect ring from his pocket, drop to one knee and say…

"Rodney, you're hurting my hand." Jennifer whispered in his ear.

"Oh, sorry." His hand immediately released hers and she flexed her fingers to restore the circulation.

She and Rodney _engaged?_ Not that she hadn't entertained the idea a time or two…or three but they'd only been a couple for a short time and weren't ready to take that step yet. Were they? Obviously Harmony, John and Teyla thought so or they wouldn't have planned this without consulting them.

"We are here today to join Rodney and Jennifer together in betrothal. The vows they take today are not as binding as the vows of marriage but, _like_ those of marriage, should not be taken lightly." He opened the large leather-bound book in his hands. It was old; at least as old as the castle itself, the edges worn from the hands of many who had gone before.

"Who will stand with Rodney and Jennifer and bear witness to this betrothal?"

Rodney and Jennifer's heads whipped around when they heard John and Teyla announce in unison, "We will, my Lord." They came forward, John to stand on Rodney's left and Teyla on Jennifer's right.

Rodney looked over at Harmony and she gave him a smile and nod of encouragement. Turning to his right he saw the woman he loved looking up at him with a timorous smile and just like that his panic evaporated. The churning in his mind calmed and his ability to focus on a single task to the exclusion of all else returned. He could _do_ this! He _wanted _do this! Here, now, in front of his…family. Suddenly, that puzzling email from Jeannie made sense. She'd been invited to attend. It would not be the same without her but she had a life and a family that needed her. He needed her just as much but sometimes sacrifices had to be made.

He brought his attention back to Cleric Santo who had continued to speak. "They will now each state their full names then read aloud from the Book of Larus the vows that will bind them together in betrothal." A young man, also dressed in white robes but without ornamentation, stepped forward and handed Rodney a small tome already open to a page near the center.

"I, Meredith Rodney McKay…" His voice was soft, barely above a whisper.

"I am sorry but you must speak louder so that all may hear your promise." Santo advised him.

Rodney cleared his throat and started again, louder this time. "I, Meredith Rodney McKay…" he looked down at the page. The words were flowery and old-fashioned. "Thee", "thou" and "foreswear" were used in abundance. He closed the book and handed it back. "I-I-I'm sorry, but I can't. This is too...much..."

A gasp went through the crowd and he could hear shocked whispers but ignored everything but the woman beside him.

Jennifer was stunned. He _didn't_ want to marry her? After all she'd gone through for him, the waiting, the hoping, the _challenge_, and here he was _dumping_ her during their engagement party and in front of their friends! _He is _soooo_ gonna-_

"...so I'm going to, you know, just say what's in my heart." He turned and took both of her hands in his, looking deep into her brown eyes. "Jennifer…before I met you I was never really alive, just going through the motions of living. But you have shown me what was missing from my life. I never thought I was capable of loving someone as much as I do you at this moment but, somehow, I know that I will love you even more tomorrow. You have filled my life with laughter and wonder and a thousand things that have no name. You are the missing piece of my _heart_, the other half of my _soul_. I love you, not for what you are, but for what _I am_ when I'm with you. Because of _you_, I laugh, I smile, I dare to dream of a life other than work. And I look forward with _great joy_ to spending the rest of my life with you, caring for you, nurturing you, being there for you in all that life has in store for us, the good, the bad and everything in between, and I vow to be true and faithful for as long as we both shall live."

_-get lucky tonight!_ She couldn't help it. Tears welled up in her eyes, clinging to her lashes and spilling down her cheeks. Their eyes locked on each other until Santo cleared his throat and she brought her attention back to the ceremony.

The cleric nodded and she took a deep breath, let it out and, in a voice that all could hear, said, "I, Jennifer Elaine Keller, love you _so much_ I don't think there's a word for it. I love you in spite of all your little...flaws or maybe because of them, I don't know which. And, well…" she paused to gather her thoughts, "...ditto! To everything you just said!" Thunderous applause greeted her simple pronouncement and her tears began to flow faster.

"At this time, our people usually exchange a small token, something that reminds you of the vows you have taken today. We understand that _your _people exchange rings." To Santo's left stood a young girl carrying small box that looked familiar to Rodney. He gestured and she stepped forward shyly. She opened the box and nestled inside were a set of wedding rings in silver. A note was with them and he recognized Jeannie's handwriting. He took the folded sheet of paper out and read it while Jennifer looked over his shoulder.

"_Mer,_

_When John and Teyla told me about the betrothal ceremony I was so excited I could barely stand it. I _knew_ the two of you would be perfect together and now I will have the sister I have always wished for!_

_In __Euclidian geometry, a circle is a simple shape __consisting of those points in a plane which are the same distance from a given point called the __center. __A _ring_ is a circle, a shape without an end like the love I know you have for Jennifer. Grammy and Gramps would have wanted you have their wedding rings to wear as a symbol of that love._

_Congratulations, big brother and don't forget to send pictures!_

_Love,_

_Jeannie, Kaleb and Madison"_

At the cleric's direction, John took the smaller ring from the box and passed it to Rodney. He slipped the circle of silver over Jennifer right ring finger then raised her hand and kissed the back of it. _A perfect fit!_

Teyla took the larger ring, handed it to Jennifer, giving her a smile as a single tear escaped. Jennifer pushed the ring over Rodney's right ring finger then, as he'd done before her, kissed the back of his hand and pressed it to her cheek. _A perfect fit, just like us!_

They kept hold of each other's right hands as instructed and turned to face Santo again.

"Love alters not with brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom. As you have stood together and given your hearts to one another let all who bear witness rejoice in your happiness. You will be forever more, two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one."

Rodney held up a hand to stop the applause that had begun. He leaned toward Cleric Santo and asked a short question. The man grinned and nodded. The physicist turned to the love of his life, put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her as those gathered around them cheered. Her hands went to his shoulders and pulled him close so they were now touching from shoulder to knee then slid her arms up around his neck, pushing her hands into his hair. His hands slipped to her waist and around to her back pressing her even closer. He tilted his head deepening the kiss. Her hands came up to frame his face feathering her thumbs over his cheeks. Neither of them noticed that the crowd had stopped cheering and were now watching the couple, completely captivated by the spectacle they were providing.

Rodney thought he felt someone touch him on the shoulder but ignored it and kept kissing Jennifer. He could go on drinking from her lips forever. _She_ was the only nourishment he needed.

Somewhere in the back of her mind Jennifer knew that they would need to come up for air at some point but not yet. Kissing him was all she wanted to do, all she needed. If she had to choose between loving him, and breathing, she would use her last breath to tell him she loved him.

John watched Rodney and Jennifer kiss and kiss and kiss. Hands in his pockets he made a quick scan of the sea of faces. The kiss went on so long that people began to shift and whisper nervously. He adjusted his tie and picked bits of imaginary lint from his dress uniform just for something to do, cleared his throat, then tapped Rodney on the shoulder. He either didn't feel it or chose to ignore it. John thought it was probably the latter so he edged close enough to whisper in his friend's ear.

"Rodney? Rodney! _Rodney!!"_

The physicist lifted his lips from Jennifer's and said dreamily, "What? I'm kinda busy." He waved him away like he was a pesky insect. "Come back…later." Jennifer pulled his lips to hers again.

"I understand but, you know, people would kind of like to get back to the party. I mean, if it's not an imposition."

"Hmm? Oh!" He and his love reluctantly parted and the party resumed.

**Ten and a Half Months Later**

Rodney, Jennifer, John and Teyla were escorted into the Great Room and asked to wait. Before long Harmony entered and embraced each of them in turn. Several attendants milled around the periphery of the room waiting to do the bidding of their queen and the heroes of the crown.

"It is good to see all of you again. I wish to thank you for coming with so little notice and hope you will stay to share the evening meal with us."

John didn't need to consult with his companions. "It's not a problem and we'd be honored, Your Majesty."

"Excellent." She smiled and clasped her hands together in front of her. "I have asked you here to tell you that I am betrothed."

All four of the Atlanteans broke out in big smiles. "That's…great but you, uh, didn't invite us to the ceremony." Rodney complained.

Harmony smiled at Rodney the way a woman does when a man is being more than a little dense. "We did not have a ceremony. That practice was abolished by queen's decree immediately after the one you shared with Jennifer."

"Oh, uh, so, when will we get to meet him?" Rodney asked.

"Immediately." She held out her hand and a young blonde man in the uniform of a Captain in the queen's army stepped forward. He looked familiar as he slipped his hand into hers and she looked up at him adoringly. "You remember Joran from the challenge."

The women surged forward to embrace Harmony and the men shook hands with Joran. Then they switched and Rodney gave her a hug. John also accepted a quick hug from her. The women hugged Joran and he seemed a bit shell-shocked by all the attention being shown to him by the Atlanteans but, to his credit, he bore it with patience, dignity and a smile.

"How is Flora feeling?" Jennifer asked once the clamor had died down.

"Much better today. She is resting at this time. The past few days have been…trying."

"I bet! Will she be joining us for the meal?"

"Yes. She is quite insistent. She would like to see you before we adjourn to the dining hall."

John's attention had wondered but snapped back when he heard the two women talking about Flora. "She's not sick, is she?" He still considered her a friend and was concerned, especially after what happened the last time they'd met.

The women laughed and Jennifer was the one who answered. "Not exactly." She turned to Harmony's fiancé. "Joran, will you be joining us for supper? We'd like the chance to get to know you better."

"I am sorry but I will not. I have business in the next settlement and must leave within the hour in order to arrive before nightfall. Perhaps next time." He nodded, kissed Harmony's cheek and departed through a side door.

Rodney watched him go then turned to Harmony with a smile. "So that's your fiancé?"

Harmony nodded. "I have known him all my life and we have often talked late into the night about nothing and everything." She blushed. "Then one day, someone I have trusted not only with _my _life but the life of my sister, said these words, 'When you get home, have a good look at the people around you. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you found that love has been staring you in the face all this time.' I took her advice and found Joran."

Rodney looked down at the circle of silver on his right hand and knew in an instant that Jennifer had been the one to dispense that pearl of wisdom. He took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

An attendant stepped up to Harmony and whispered in her ear. She nodded and the woman exited through a different door than Joran had taken. She reappeared almost immediately with a tray that contained a carafe of wine and several glasses.

"Jennifer, Flora is calling for you. I will conduct you to her myself." To the others she said, "Please, have a glass of wine. The meal will be served in one hour. An attendant will show you the way and Jennifer, Flora and I will join you there."

Without another word, Harmony swept from the room with the physician on her heels. She carried her emergency medkit plus another, the contents of which she refused to divulge.

**One Hour Later**

Rodney, John and Teyla entered the dining hall to find Jennifer, Harmony and Flora already there. Flora stood to greet the Atlanteans. She hugged Teyla and Rodney but when John stepped forward they both hesitated remembering the last time they'd met. Finally, Flora simply extended her hand and John bowed over it in a courtly manner. "Lady Flora, you're looking well. I'd heard you were under the weather."

"Under the…ah, yes. It is true that I have not been at my best these last few days. However, I have been informed that this is normal and my full strength will return within the coming weeks."

John was relieved but tried not to show it. "That's…good." He moved around the table to take his seat next to Teyla.

Flora exchanged mysterious smiles with her sister and said, "Before we begin, I have someone I want all of you to meet." She nodded to the attendant and another woman was admitted. She was carrying a small bundle which she placed in Flora's arms. A cooing sound was heard and the Atlanteans stood. The dark-haired woman pulled back a corner of the blanket to show them a sleeping baby. He had dark hair that stuck up randomly all over his head and one small fist was pushed into a cheek making it look as if he were giving them a lopsided grin.

John's eyes got so big they hurt. "I-i-is that what I think it is?"

"Yes, John. This is my son born just three days ago."

His friends were watching him very closely gauging his reaction. He cleared his throat. "Oh, well, c-c-congratulations. What, uh…"

Flora looked down at the small sweet face with love. "His name is John."

* * * * *

John felt like he'd been sucker-punched. Flora had a _baby_, a boy she'd named after him. He did a quick calculation and sagged in relief that it had been nearly eleven months since they'd spent the night together. The boy couldn't _possibly_ be his…could he? What if her people were different and it took more than nine months to make a, uh…

_Okay, no need to panic, John!_ He forced himself to take deep even breaths and tried not to show that his mind was in turmoil. What if this _was_ his child? What might Flora want from him? Child support? Marriage? Anything? Nothing? He wanted to talk to her alone to ask these questions and more but didn't know how to go about arranging it without causing a scene. _Hell, it's already a "scene." I might as well just ask and get it over with._ "Uh, Flora…"

She was smiling brightly again but not at him. He heard footsteps and a tall man with broad shoulders, dark blonde hair and a beard, both liberally sprinkled with gray, entered the room and moved to her side. He crouched beside her chair, kissed her then ran a finger lightly down the cheek of the sleeping child. "I have missed you terribly, my wife. If I had but one wish it would be that I would never have to leave your side ever again."

"I know, but you must. The queen's army would be lost without you to guide them." The new mother suddenly remembered that they were not alone. "Forgive me. You have not been introduced. It is my great pleasure to present our friends from Atlantis. Teyla Emmagan, Rodney McKay, Jennifer Keller," she indicated each in turn, sweeping her hand toward John last, "and this is Colonel John Sheppard, the man responsible for the joyfulness that is our son. John, this is General Badrick Keelan…my husband."

A huge grin split the man's face as he circled the table to shake John's hand. "John Sheppard! You have my eternal gratitude."

"I, uh, _do?_"

"Yes. For many years, I have loved Lady Flora from afar, never expressing my feelings. She is so young and I felt that she could not love someone of my advanced age; my son, Joran, is older than she by fourteen lunar cycles. When you returned her to the settlement after her illness, I thought that I'd lost her to another. It was this that gave me the courage to confess my love and beg her to be my wife.

"She refused me at first, but I was relentless in my pursuit and eventually she acceded to my request for her hand. We were married and just three days ago, she gave me a second son."

Flora picked up the narrative. "We have named him John to remind us that it is not necessary to travel great distances to find your true love. You only need open your heart."

* * * * *

John was quiet on the walk back to the Stargate but the others weren't. Flora's baby was all they could talk about, especially Rodney who just _had _to show off his baby burping skills. He was convinced that he was _not_ the father and wished they would _shut up_ about the chance resemblance between baby John and adult John.

"…and did you _see_ those _eyes?_" Jennifer was saying.

"Yes. Quite remarkable. They were such an _unusual_ color, wouldn't you say, _John?_" Teyla asked with a smirk.

He ignored the byplay and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other as quickly as possible. Maybe if he broke into a run he could reach the 'gate before them, return to Atlantis and lock out M84-414 so they wouldn't be able to return home. No, that wouldn't work. Teyla could outrun him and would prevent him leaving until Rodney and Jennifer arrived.

"You know, I think you're right, Teyla. John, what would you call that shade of green?" Rodney twisted the knife a little more. "John? Don't pretend you can't hear us, Lieutenant Colonel Smelly Cat." He started humming the song made famous by the defunct American television sitcom "Friends."

John came to an abrupt halt and turned. The expression on his face was equal parts indignation and frustration. He slashed a hand through the air level with his ear. "I have had it up to _here_ with your insinuations, innuendos and intimations so _cut it out!_ Not another word or so help me…" Jennifer, Rodney and Teyla looked everywhere but at him. All three had sheepish grins they didn't bother to hide. "Now let's get home before I miss Minnesota at Syracuse." He turned and continued on with the others close behind. After about five minutes of silence except for the sounds of the forest and a few snickers from his friends, John said, "Hazel."

"Excuse me?" Rodney asked.

"Hazel. The _color_ of baby John's eyes is…hazel." Unseen by his friend, John's lopsided smile finally reappeared. "You know, Rodney, I think all of this teasing is once again fueled by jealousy."

"For what _reason_ could I _possibly_ be jealous _this time_, pray tell?"

John dialed the DHD then walked confidently toward the event horizon. His final comment just as he entered the Stargate was, "Because once again someone has named their child after _me_ and not _you!_"

They stepped out of the wormhole and into the Gate Room. Rodney, crossed his arms, looked smug and said, "Oh? And just _where_ did you get _that _idea?"

"What do you mean where did I get that idea? His name is _John_. She told us so herself."

Jennifer and Teyla were laughing because they knew what was coming. John shot them a withering glance that they naturally ignored.

"True, but what she _didn't_ tell you was his _middle name_." Rodney rocked back and forth on his heels trying and failing to restrain his delight.

"Oh, you have _got _to be kidding!"

"I am not. The newborn son of Flora and Badrick is named John _Meredith_ Keelan!"

**The End**


End file.
